The Ugly Truth: Liley Style
by the.great.idiot-21
Summary: Liley. A movie re written, Liley style! I will try and keep it up as much as i can. M for real mature content, language, and sexual content. "The truth, is never pretty...."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok it took a lot of restraining on my part to not start another story and especially re write a movie and... it didn't work, cause I really like this movie. For those of you that watch R rated movies, you'd know what I'm talking about and what this movie is. It's rather hard to turn something like this into a Liley, but I think it's coming along well. Anyway, some of it is word for word and some of it has some time skips. I didn't want to follow it exactly cause that would take lots a time. Well ok, so mostly it'll be my favorite parts, which pretty much the whole movie was my favorite thing. But each chp will have several scenes from the movie...which are my favorites mostly.**

**Anywho, this is just a preview, that's why it's so short. Oh and Abby = Miley, Mike Chadway = Lilly. Hope you enjoy and if I get enough reviews (at least four) I'll post more...**

**Oh, disclaimer: I here by do not own Hannah Montana or the movie The Ugly Truth...blah blah...**

**The Ugly Truth: Liley Style

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Miley's POV-

The day started out like any other ordinary day for me, a producer. Getting phone calls on my way out the door and on the way to work. It always annoyed the hell out of me. Why couldn't they just wait until I got to work and see them face to face? Although when I did, it was the same as their phone calls; bitter, annoyed about their jobs and just ugly.

"Good morning." My friend Joy, greeted me, as she suddenly appeared at my side with a cup of coffee for me.

"Morning." I replied, happily taking the coffee.

"We've got problems." She told me as we walked and talked.

"There are no problems Joy, only solutions." I tried to tell her. Then she explained to me how the traffic camera is down and we have none for a segment. I stopped shortly for a moment. "That is a problem. Call Matt at media labs, he's got some sky cams...where are all my weather men?"

"Right here." Joy told me, as we walked through a room full of several men.

"Ah hello! Thank you all for coming. You guys look great. Thanks for bein here." I told them as I walk through, followed by Joy, who immediately walked up to me and spoke softly.

"Is there a reason they're all over weight?"

"Well they get the forecast wrong, research shows people aren't willing to give work to a fat guy." I sighed. Then I was stopped by Larry, our newsman. And Joy continued to rush off and work.

Larry had a lot to tell me about working with his wife as his co-anchor. I calmed him down by telling him how big his balls were and he agreed then continued on with work. Once I got to my office. A few other people were arguing about what to put on the news next. I simply pulled out my whistle and they stopped to listen.

Next came the cooking segment of the news. It started out great and turned out to be a great chicken dish, until the chef said it was duck instead. A great substitute and tastes the same as chicken. After hearing that, Georgia, Larry's wife and co-anchor, laughed it off a little, but froze in the process. I cut the news to an early break while she pulled the shock together and then began yelling my name.

After the show today that I thought had been going well so far, Stuart, my boss wanted to see me in is office during the break, telling me how low the ratings have been lately. I told him I would rally and later that day decided I should stay home that night and think of more ideas for the show. Joy disagreed, telling me that I can't cancel on my date that night for the third time.

The restaurant was real nice, but my date turned into a disaster. When I got home, my cat walked around my legs. "Don't ask." It was as simple as that. How would I find anyone if I'm so prepared and controlling?

Once I was ready for bed, I began making my blanket and pillows all straight so I could sleep on them. I don't know why, but it was a weird habit. Suddenly my cat jumped on the bed and stepped on the remote. He turned it to some show I had never seen before but it certainly looked interesting. A woman with long blond hair began talking.

"_And we're back with The Ugly Truth. Where tonight, we're gonna be talking about what it is, men and women really want, in relationships."_

It looked odd, yet intriguing. After all, it was her own cable show. Then she picked up several books.

"_Now I've been looking through some books. _Smart Women, Foolish Choices. _Er." _Then she threw it onto a grill and said another. _"_Men Who Love Women, Who Hate Them. _Er." _She grunted, throwing that onto the grill as well. Then mentioned a third book. In the meantime I looked at a few books on my bedside table with some of the same titles, now a bit annoyed. Annoyed? At who? _"_Women, Hating Men, Who Love Women, Who Hate Loving Men. _Huh. Billions and billions wasted, on psycho, babble bullshit. Now listen up guys, cause I'm only gonna say this once. And it is just three little words, haha," _

The lady said, as she poured some liquid on the books. Then set the container down and then flipped her hair out of the way, then looked at the camera.

"_Women are simple." _She lit a match and dropped it on the books, causing a small fire._ "We cannot be trained. All this women are from Venus crap, is a waste of your time and money. You wanna be a lonely bitch, stuck in your parents house till you're 60, that's fine. Keep reading these stupid books. But if you want a relationship, then here's how you get one, it's called a stair master." _Now that caught me off guard and I was appalled. Somehow I wanted to give her a piece of my mind._ "Get on it and get some abs and get some trashy boxers and briefs while you're at it. Because at the end of the day, all we're interested in is looks. And no one falls in love with your personality at first sight. We fall in love with your big muscles and big balls. And we stick around because of what you're willing to do with them. So if you wanna win a woman over, you don't need 10 steps, you need 1. And it's called a blow job!"_

That was all it took for me to pick up the phone and call in.

"_Ok, now let's take the first caller." _"How dare you burn those books they've-" _"What's you're girlfriends name princess?" _"Well I'm not seeing anyone right now but-" _"My point exactly shreck." _Then she hung up and picked up the second line. Me. _"Next caller. You're on the air."_

"So you're saying that women are incapable of love?" The lady looked at the camera.

"_Oh, did I burst your little romance buble, what? Come on."_

"Well the only thing you burst is your credibility. Women are completely capable of experiencing love." I told her.

**A/N: Ok, that's the clip off for this first chp. please review and let me know if I should continue...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow...you guys are awesome. I don't think you know how cool you readers and reviewers are. I mean 10 reviews within a day. That's gotta be a personal record for me. Well either I'm writing it really well, or it's just the movie, lol. My guess is it's the movie and I'm trying my best to write it out and pass as a Liley. Anywho, I tried to figure out who to give shout outs to, but I couldn't cause you're all so great for reviewing that fast. But here's something to shout, SEE THE MOVIE!! (if you're over 17 that is. Or break the law if you want, lol.) I can't believe that only a few of you that reviewed, have seen it. Well it is funny in a twisted way, so if you're gonna see it, then be prepared for some pretty heavy, straight on scenes and sort of disgusted references. Oh and I forgot to mention, Lilly and Miley are in their early 20's.**

**Once again, this isn't the full movie, there are some cut out scenes and the rest is pretty much my favorite parts. Which is most of the movie, lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this longer one, cause you deserve it...

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Miley's POV-

"_Ok I'll buy it. Go on, who's the guy?" She asked, getting out a newspaper. I was obviously right and now boring her._

"What?" I asked right back. Completely clueless.

"_The guy, Mr. Wonderful, the one who's so capable of love. Who is he? What's he like?" She asked with a hint of interest._

"He's smart. He's handsome, but he doesn't know it. He's successful, but in a job that means something. He loves red wine, picnics, classical music."

"_This is a guy in America right? I mean, you're not calling from Europe or somethin?"_

I admit that comment did annoy me, but I simply ignored it and kept talking. "He loves dogs, but he's more of a cat person. He never get's up before you on a sunday morning." I said while smiling and petting my cat.

"_Wait a second, I get it...you're a lesbian." She said casually and pointed to the camera._

"What?!"

"_Well you must be. You just described the perfect woman."_

"Huh, why are you so threatened by these qualities? Is it perhaps because you don't posses a single one of them, and that is the _real_ reason why men aren't interested in you? Hmm?"

She looked up into the camera. The laughter on her face, that she had from the amusement I gave her, slightly went away. I must have struck a nerve, as she paused for some seconds, thinking about what to say next. _"Ok, ok I'll give you 100 bucks of my own money, to go get this guy and bring him down here and let me meet him." She said, satisfied._

"Well he's out there, somewhere."

"_Wait a second, you're not even dating this guy?" She was surprised._

"No I'm...describing a type, I thought that's what we were doing." Oh great, I know she'll be rough.

"_Hahaha, what you don't even know him? Oh, oh ok now I get the picture, hold on, hold on. Oh, you're a dog!"_

"What!" My mouth didn't drop open, now I was just confused.

"_Well you must be. Come on you heard me. I mean if you were, if you were hot, you would be out, breaking some poor schmucks heart. Instead of spending all your time, fantasizing about Mr. Wonderful. Face it, you're ugly." She said, as she slapped a big siren sounding button, on her desk._

"I am not ugly." I said quietly, with a hurtful tone. She didn't seem to care with no emotion on her face and kept going along with her show and criticizing.

"_Well ok, let me help you out here, you might as well face the fact that you're gonna be alone and stop pining away for some fantasy guy you're never gonna get."_

This struck me again. "How, how can you possibly-" She cut me off.

"_Hey Lassie, the show's called The Ugly Truth. If you can't face it, don't call." Those were her last words to me on the show, as she pressed a button and hung up._

"You...I..." I stumbled and then looked at my phone, remembering she had hung up so quick I couldn't fire back.

"_That about wraps it up for this evening. I'm Lilly Truscott, reminding you, that the truth, is never pretty."_

This had to be worse then my date this evening. But it was all over with, so now I could just try and sleep for a long day ahead of me at work tomorrow.

Joy and I began walking to a room for a small meeting with the newsmen, Stuart and a few other people.

"Good morning everyone." Stuart greeted everyone as I entered. "Now before I play you this I should warn you, this woman's a little rough around the edges." He said and played a short clip from a TV show. Everyone turned to watch it on the flat screen, on the wall.

"_...face it, you're ugly." "I am not ugly." _I was completely caught off guard with what he just played and where he started it off. Before anything else could be said, I quickly grabbed the remote off the table, turned off the TV, picked up my dropped jaw and spoke.

"Why are we watching this?" I was frustrated.

"Say hello to our new guest commentator. I'm starting her off at two segments a week, three minutes a pop." Stuart explained. Then everyone began their protests of groaning.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Who the hell is she?"

"Names Lilly Truscott." Stuart told us.

"And she's a moron who represents everything that is wrong with television and society." I stated firmly.

"Oh come on, she's got a point of view. We don't have to like it. I mean we're news people. We're objective. Stone Philips interviews terrorists. It doesn't mean he likes them, he does it for the ratings." Stuart tried to convince us.

I handed him a sheet of paper and tried to stop him from telling us more. "I have a whole list of ideas on how to improve ratings. You're gonna like it. We don't need her."

"We don't need her."

"Not at all." A few others agreed.

"An intimate profile of the mayor." Stuart read out loud from my list.

"Yes, it can be edgy and yet intriguing." I said proudly. Then the phone call itself walked in, in person and cut me off again with yet another ugly statement to finish.

"Unless you can get him to bang, three crack whores, and a german shepherd on live TV, no ones gonna give a shit..." She said and paused to take a sip of coffee, from a company mug. "Oh I'm sorry, I was eavesdropping out in the hall." The entire time she spoke, my mouth was open in disgust, with plain annoyance.

"Hahaha, what'd I tell you? Isn't she great?" Stuart said while laughing.

"Thanks boss."

"You already hired her?" I looked at him, appalled that Stuart would do that so suddenly.

"Who's this delightful creature?" She asked me.

I was surprised at how forward she was, but I hesitantly answered, "I'm your producer." She slowly put out her hand and so did I and we shook hands.

She stopped and said something, yet again, that was annoying. "I like a woman on top." I took my hand away with a disgusted look on my face.

"Hey everybody take five, I'll be right back." Stuart told us as he went to show Lilly her new office.

"Were you all not there last year, for the sexual harassment meeting?" I asked firmly and loudly, to the other few people in the room. Just appalled by the way she acted on her show and here as well.

Georgia was sitting near me and spoke to her husband. "Yes, were you not there, Larry?"

"She wasn't sexually harassing me." He replied simply.

Right after the meeting, I went into my office and began pacing. Then repeated "I am an award winning news producer." Out loud to myself, several times. I was so focused and in my own zone that I didn't hear a few small knocks on the door. When it opened, I was startled out of my thoughts and right in the middle of my sentence.

"You're an award winning news producer." Lilly appeared in the door and said to me.

"You don't knock?!" I asked, annoyed.

"I did knock, you didn't answer." She casually replied.

"So essentially your knock was an engaged, by a complete lack of adherence, to the social ediquate that follows a knock." I said real quickly and out of breath.

"Whoa, you're wound like a frying top." She observed with a chuckle.

"Woof, woof. Remember the bark? Last night a little phone conversation we had." I said, calming down a little.

"Yeah! Hey, hey what do you know? You're not ugly at all." She told me with a slight flirt.

"Well imagine my relief."

"Well I wanna thank you for getting me this gig. I would have never got it without you. You and I, we make good TV." She smiled, with a nod.

"You make imbecilic trash, watched by house bound inbred s. Who are so busy with their hands down their pants, they can't change the remote." I told her with a feeling of victory.

"I-I wouldn't really picturing you that way, but it's a nice image." She replied.

"I do not watch that! My cat...stepped on the remote." I told her.

She moved a little closer to me. "Well you wanna thank your pussy for me then?" She smirked. I made a gagging noise and walked out.

How can she keep talking like that? Doesn't she have any boundaries or feel anything? And with a show like hers and the way she's been acting towards me, I can only assume that she's bi. I mean how the hell can she be inches away from me and be a straight woman? I gotta stop thinking about her and just get on with the day. Unfortunately with Lilly.

We started her off on her first segment today. Things seemed to be going just fine until Lilly pointed out some problems she had observed about Larry and Georgia's relationship.

"You two project this image of a perfect couple, when clearly it's a lie?" She said.

"Excuse me?" Larry turned to Lilly with shock.

Back in another room, with more TV's and different camera angles. Several of the camera crew were shocked but yet intrigued. "Break for commercial." I said, getting out of my seat and pointing at a screen.

"No, no, no."

"Stuart said keep rollin no matter what." A random guy, running some of the buttons said.

"What?! When? This is my show." I told Stuart, who was sitting right next to me.

"Not right now it isn't." He told me.

Lilly began saying more about how Larry used to be cool and confident. And telling Georgia that he wasn't a dumb bunny. Several people in the room were cracking up, in the meantime I was waiting for someone to take control.

"He knew the only way she was getting off the weekend shift, was by hooking up with you. Then low and behold she became more popular then you did. Ended up with twice your salary." I gasped as Lilly continued, not caring about a thing.

"Come on Larry, take her down!" I shouted at a screen. Several people hushed me. They too were involved now.

"Hold on pal, I am very proud of my wife's success." Larry told Lilly. I walked over to another screen, closer to Joy and she was staring at it like it was the coolest thing she's ever seen.

"Hm, bologna you are. You hate her success. You feel emasculated by her. And that screws with your head." Lilly got up and walked over to Larry. "Which in turn, screws with your manhood." Some of the camera crew began to look straight at the set now. Interested in the advice Lilly was giving.

"What's your point Ms. Truscott." Georgia suddenly spoke up. I was so excited.

"Yes, yes Georgia, take control." I said, but nobody in the room seemed to notice, they were too focused on Lilly and her thoughts out loud.

"Georgia, my point is..." Lilly said, leaning on the table between them. "That your husband hasn't had sex with you in what can I say, three months?" She asked casually, as if it were nothing. I gasped.

"Truscott, that is not...my fault." Larry defended himself.

"I know, I know, it's her fault."

"Why is it my fault?" Georgia asked, clueless. Joy was still smiling and watching the screen with much anticipation. "What am I supposed to do? Say no to the money, so he can get an erection?"

"She just said erection on network television." I turned to Stuart, out of breath at this situation now. Everybody else in the room was laughing in the meantime.

Suddenly, Joy threw her arms in the air and shouted at me, "They're talkin about erection, be quiet!" Obviously, no one had no interest at all on how I felt. Who does she think she is anyway?

**A/N: There it is, another chp of The Ugly Truth. Please review for more...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks again soo much for all the reviews! I must be writing the movie out real well right? Well here's chapter three. Oh and a reviewer last chapter, mentioned that the name 'Stuart' as her boss, always makes them think of Miley's last name 'Stewart' lol. And I should think about changing the name. That's actually a good idea, thank you. So Miley's boss's name is now John.**

Lilly spoke a bit quieter. "I, I agree. You've economically emasculated your husband to, to such a point that he's afraid to want you. I mean sure you could dump his ass, but honey have you seen the eligible men in Sacramento? Oh god!" Lilly chuckled. "It's slim pickins out there for a woman in her 40's, I can tell ya."

"Oh god, she just talked about her age. She's gonna kill me!" I said to John. He simply sat there and shrugged. I seemed to be the only one in the room stressed about what was going on. Everyone else was just having a good laugh.

"I mean you can't do any better then Larry. You just have to let him be a man. Hmm. Let him be a man!"

"I-I let him be a man." She defended.

"You have to let me be a man." Larry said right back.

"I try to let you be a man."

"Let him be a man." Lilly said once again. She was getting on my last nerve.

"You have to let me be a man." Larry said again as well.

"It's as simple as that." Then Lilly scooted Larry's chair right over to Georgia's.

When I saw this I knew what was coming next. "Oh god."

"Lean in here and give this beautiful woman a kiss."

"No, no, no they're not gonna..." I said as I pointed to a screen.

"And you're gonna do it right in front of me." Lilly said, looking between the two.

"Let me, god damn it Georgia, let me be a man!" Larry yelled, then moved on her and kissed her hard.

"No!" I shouted. But everyone elses screams of laughter were louder.

"Oh! Zoom in on that, zoom in!" A camera man shouted.

"America doesn't wanna see this!" I shouted at John, who was laughing his head off.

"And that my friends...is the ugly truth." Back on the show, Lilly finished, pointing at Larry and Georgia, making out in a rough manner.

"Cut to commercial! ...Cut to commercial!" I shouted at anybody who would listen this time. John was still laughing and now finally spoke.

"That was great! Wasn't that great?! I told you that girl was great. Good job everybody. Wow!" He said with a clap of his hands and then left the room. I stood there in wonder, but let him go, no questions asked.

I eventually hid in a closet. I needed to get away from all the commotion. Then Joy and John found me and I was informed of how many people liked her. The ratings were high and so were the calls and emails. 1,143 calls, over 300 emails, 53 percent of them were women and everything was 93 percent positive. And John thought she was a lightning rod. He couldn't believe all the ratings we had and he was out of breath. Then decided he was going to scale back the news and give it to The Ugly Truth.

I couldn't believe that many people actually liked her on that show like that.

After hearing John say, he's giving more of the news to Lilly's show, I didn't want to hear it, but I had too and I also had to work with her now. Which I didn't want to do either.

That evening, when I was in front of my bathroom mirror, I heard the sound of glass being smashed to the floor, just out side my room. I quickly ran out to see what the noise was from. I saw that my fishbowl had been knocked to the ground and my cat, Dartanion, was running away from the scene of the crime.

"Dartanion! No, you didn't!" I yelled as I chased him down the stairs. "No, Dartanion you get back here, get back here. No do not...no no no." Then he ran up across the window seal and hopped out the window and on the tree just outside of it. I gave up the inside chase and went outside to see the tree he climbed up on.

"Dartanion, Dartanion." I half whispered. Since it was the evening and I didn't want to wake any of the neighbors in my apartment complex up. "Shit!" He climbed further up the tree. I sighed, "Alright, I'll just come up." I said to him as he was meowing and standing on a branch contently in the meantime.

"I'm really not that flexible Dartanion." I said to him as I got higher and it was hard to climb. "I'm comin, I gotcha. Hold on, hold on. Come here baby. Come here Dartanion..." I said as I reached for him. "Oh good boy, good boy ok. You're gonna be ok." He meowed as I came and gently grabbed him off the branch. "I hope we can get down." I said, petting him as I looked down. Also afraid of heights.

As I began to step up on a branch, I saw a man across from my apartment. He had just gotten out of the shower and only had a towel around him. "Oh my..." I kept watching him and covered my cats mouth and meowing as well. "Oh my, my my..." Then he walked out on his deck and began flossing. One of the biggest things I loved about a guy and was also an attribute on my checklist. "...he flosses." I whispered to Dartanion as I got excited about what that man was doing next. Then suddenly the tree branch couldn't handle our weight any more and broke right out from beneath me. Luckily I didn't fall and my ankle just got caught in between some branches. I'm not sure where Dartanion ended up, but I'm assuming he landed on all fours.

Although only a second later this all hit me and I started freaking out. "Oh god! Somebody help me! Somebody help me, I'm stuck in a tree! Help me, anybody! I'm stuck in a tree." The man was obviously the only one who heard me. Then the next thing I know he was standing in front of me, trying to calm me down.

"Stay calm, it's fine." He told me. But my arms were flying everywhere and I accidentally grabbed his towel away. I was in perfect view of his crotch and immediately covered my face. Something I really didn't need to see. And he covered himself with his hands right away.

The next thing I knew, me and Dartanion were in his living room and he was helping me with my ankle. "So you just moved in, that's great. Well I'm Miley, your neighbor from across the way. So you're a doctor, wow." I spoke, all way to over smiling and looking like a desperate flirt.

"Orthopedic surgeon. I do a lot of leg and hip stuff, but I uh, I do get the occasional foot." He told me. I chuckled. "Your ankle seems to be fine, it's just a mild sprain. So this brace should help."

"Great, thank you. Well I guess I'm pretty lucky my cat chose the tree outside your window, to climb." I said in a real cheesy and stupid manner.

"Well I'm here whenever you need me. Look I'm gonna put my home number on the back of my business card. If your ankle starts giving you any problems, just give me a call." He said as he wrote his number down.

"Great, thanks." I said, still smiling from ear to ear. Then noticed Dartanion circling around his legs. "Oh wow, that's so weird, he doesn't usually like men." I told him as he picked up my cat.

"Well you know dogs are great, but uh, I'm a cat person." He told me as he held him close. I smiled like an idiot, as there was another attribute he fit on my checklist. In the meantime he looked down and pet my cat.

He looked up at me and we exchanged smiles. "Well, I guess I'll get going then."

"Yeah." He agreed. But I couldn't help but look at him and smile still. He looked at me in wonder, smiled as well and then pointed towards the door.

"Yeah, haha!" I snapped out of the clouds the filled my airhead the the moment. Then I walked towards the front door as he followed me. "Thanks again, for saving my life." I said, with an idiotic smile, to match the idiotic statement I had just made. Man that was dumb. It was just my ankle, not my life.

"Anytime." He said with a small chuckle.

"Ok, bye."

I went out the door and began doing a quick, little jumping dance. Then he suddenly opened his door as I just turned around to face him. I immediately stopped.

**A/N: Love the reviews and I love that you're just lovin the movie. Oh and don't worry, Lilly's POV will be coming up soon. Oh and a little shout out to Lovergirl242. Thanks for some help...**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Well I'm glad you're all loving it. I know I am lol. I hope you like this next one. Oh and thanks again for the help, Lovergirl242.**

"You forgot your cat." He told me, as he was still holding Dartanion and then gave him back to me.

"Right...I had a spider on me." I said, trying to make up a quick lie, for the brief moment of why he saw me jumping. "Ew, it's gone now. Bye, thanks again." I said again. Grinning like a fool.

"Ok, goodnight."

God, why did I keep repeating myself. I guess it was because her was the only decent looking guy that I had met in a long time.

At work the next morning I told Joy how perfect he was and the way we left if was that he gave me his number.

"So should I call him? And if I do call him, what should I say?" I asked her in a rush.

"Ok, uh take a breath and..." She said more, then I noticed Lilly straight ahead of me, in make up.

"Hold that thought." I told her, glaring at Lilly and walking over to her, to tell her a few things.

I walked right up to her and the make up girl walked away, noticing the look on my face, as well as the attitude I had against Lilly. She looked at me with wide eyes, waiting for what I had to say next.

"Keep it clean. Keep it moving. Stick to the script. You are on a live affiliate news program. You do not have the luxury of using the words 'blow' and 'job' in the same sentence. If you say anything scatological, you will be fired." I couldn't believe how quickly those words rolled off my tongue like that, but it felt great, especially telling Lilly that. I noticed her just rolling her eyes and her head around when I said all that though. Was I really that boring? Or maybe she just didn't like the fact that she couldn't do whatever she wanted to now.

"Oh really? Because I kinda thought that you were the one that was gonna get fired, if you don't keep me happy." Lilly said with a smug tone. I looked at her and frowned, annoyed that my huge speech just went to waste. "Yes, I've got a list of demands I would like to make after the show. And let me just warn you. They're gonna be scatological." She whispered the last bit in my ear, then smiled smugly. I just took the wire and ear piece that was sitting on her shoulder and stuffed the earpiece in her right ear. "Ow. You know, just because you look pretty today, I won't mention the misguided, feltic rage, you just displayed."

I stopped her. "You hear my voice, just do what I say."

"Hmhm," She sort of laughed. "Promise you'll talk dirty?"

"Ha ha, ha ha." I laughed sarcastically. As if I would ever do anything like she wanted me to do.

Her first real show started out going just fine. "...and I'm Lilly Truscott and this is The Ugly Truth. Where we'll be taking a few minutes every day, to talk about men, women...and relationships." She said as she got up from her chair and walked over to her next scene. "Let's start with men. Men are simple. I'm a women, so I think we're more easy of course. But the point I'll illustrate about them now is that here we have a classic, romantic setting," Lilly said as she stood next to a man and a woman, sitting at a small table. When she added that line about women being easy, which ticked me off, I knew she wasn't going to stick to the script. "We have uh, candlelight, champagne, and even your own, personal violinist..." Alright, she's actually doing what I said so far. This is good. "Now over here, we have something quite different. Ha, ha, ha! Follow me!" Ok, now this isn't good.

Everyone was wondering where the hell she was going and that detour she took, wasn't on their list. I actually said something about it, that I didn't think I would. "Follow her. Follow her." It just slipped out. She was catching my interest now.

She walked out to the back alley way and there was a mini pool set up with the most random thing I would have never thought of. "Babes wrestling in jello." She said, pointing to the pool and the red goo and two women in bikini's.

Back in the media room I was just looking at the screen, pissed at how much she was going off the script. "Oh, jello. That's...great." I thought sarcastically, out loud. Then I heard Joy say my name and I looked behind me.

"Um Miley, there's uh, people calling and..." She said, with her hands full of phones off the line that she picked up.

"First let's take a great survey and see which option, men out there would pick. Classical music and candle lit dinner. Or semi-naked chicks wrestling, in strawberry flavored goo." She finished with a smirk and sat on the edge of the pool. Then the ladies suddenly pulled her back into the mini pool with them. "Ah, haha!"

"Alright, if we're gonna do this, we might as well milk it." I said with a sigh. Then went over to speak into the mic. "Lick the jello off her finger." I saw her push her ear piece in more, with a slightly dumfounded look on her face. "Lick the jello off her finger." I repeated in a monotone voice. "Just do it."

It seemed as though for a second she couldn't believe I would say something like that, just by the look on her face, but she did it and both the girls screamed in pleasure. She took one of the girls hands and licked some jello off. Then smiled at the camera with a tasty look. "I was wrong...it's cherry, ha. Back to you in the studio Georgia. Bye, haha." She said and kept laughing along with the girls.

The camera went right back to Larry and Georgia. But Georgia had such a shocked look from what she just saw, that Larry spoke for her, for what was coming up in the news next.

I stood in front of the doors in the alleyway, waiting for Lilly to come through. I took some deep breaths and then saw her with a robe on and arms around both the girls. "Great job ladies." She told them as they walked away. "I can still taste you..." I winced at that comment. They giggled. "You know what I mean." Then she looked at me. "Huh?" She asked with a smile, wondering how she did.

"I can't even demonstrate how far I've fallen, cause you're not smart enough to get the references." I turned around and started walking away. She ran after me, so I stopped and turned around.

"Hey wait, wait, wait. I thought we were a great team back there. You were the one that told me to lick the jello." She told me. With a confused look at my actions.

"Do you understand how much I hate myself for that? It was cheap titillation. I am now going to broadcasting hell! Right behind the, naked weather girl, from Canada." I said, pissed off at myself and then walked away. But heard Lilly behind me in a faint voice say,

"Seriously, there's a naked weather girl? Hey can we get her?!" She shouted after me.

I turned back around and walked right up to her. Then I noticed a custodial closet just a few feet from us. I grabbed her and pulled her in it and then closed the door. "Listen, are you gay, bi, lesbian or whatever? Cause you sure as hell aren't acting straight."

"Ha, I thought you would've figured something like that out by now, especially the way I've been treating you. Oh and not to mention the way you've been pushing me too." She smirked.

"I don't, I don't really care. I'm just your producer and I'm going to be working with you all the time, so I would like to know something like that."

"Oh please, you're smart enough to figure that out for yourself. But we've got work to do. So Miley, it's time to come out of the closet." Lilly smirked.

"Excuse me? I'll have you know that I have a-"

Lilly opened the closet door and looked at me. "God, I hate it when double meanings get killed like that. Especially something half true." She whispered to me, with a wink.

"But you...I-I..." Lilly walked away leaving me in awe and in deep thought. Why was I thinking so hard about what she just said and why was I afraid of it? What should I have to be afraid of?

**A/N: I know I'm never gonna see jello the same way again lol. That sure as hell was a great scene! ...anywho, please review...**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks a lot for the quick reviews, glad you're still in it with me. And I'll mention once again that there are some scenes that I add. Very short, but a little necessary, considering that they're the same sex this time. For instance, in the very part of the last chapter, with the two of them in the closet; I made that part up and threw it in. All of this next chapter has nothing added, it's all just the movie...**

"_You have to do it for the ratings Miley." I heard John say. "Think of my son. My son who had a dream of being a cosmotition. Think about him. Think about Joy. Just do it for me." John finished telling me._

_It was getting hotter and I could feel the pressure that everyone wanted of me. So I did it. "Today it will be partly sunny, with a chance of cloud cover, moving from my left breast. Low pressure systems are moving up, so expect a cold front." I giggled._

_I gave a quick weather broadcast in a very cheesy way and moved my hands around my body. Why was I doing that? I'm not a weather girl. I looked around and then down and I was naked!_

"Oh!" I gasped and shot up in bed, looking around me and moving my hands on my body to make sure I had clothes on this time. Thank god it was all just a dream. Lilly I thought. Even though she wasn't in the dream, it was simply Lilly implied. All because I told her about the naked weather girl and then she yelled out how she wanted her. I growled softly in disgust. Then fell back onto my pillows as I saw her face on my TV screen that I left on. It was just an advertisement for our station.

Lilly's POV-

I began walking into work and over to the main floor. As I walked I saw Miley ahead of me, preparing some coffee and talking to Joy. Then a guy gave them some papers with yesterday's ratings. I stopped walking and hung back for a bit to hear what they had to say next.

Miley sighed. "Guess I should be happy about this right?"

"Uh yeah, yeah. You've never gotten a twelve share before." I heard Joy tell her.

"I feel dirty." Miley said.

After that I decided to make my appearance. "Hear about the ratings?" I asked confidently, walking up next to the coffee machine. Next to Miley.

"Yes, I am the producer." She said back to me in a very strict tone, while shaking a packet of sweetener.

"Did you hear that cooperates coming next week to take me out to dinner?" I said as I poured myself some coffee.

"Well, let's hope you can chew with your mouth closed. Huh..." She trailed off.

What was I supposed to say next now? I looked at her for a second and thought. Then I asked, "Why do you hate my guts?"

"Your innards are of no consequence to me. It's what you represent."

"Oh, you hate the truth." It was that simple I guess.

"Ha, your skewed perception of male, female interaction is not the truth." She tried to tell me.

"But your imaginary boyfriend's, the truth?" I said, and I thought I got back at her, then took a sip from my mug.

"For your information, I happen to meet him." She said with a smile. I guess I didn't get her down. Maybe this comment will.

"Oh, well I hope he's real this time, cause otherwise this is just sad." I chuckled and looked down at my mug.

"Oh he's real! He's very real. Not to mention stunningly handsome, morally sound. He's a surgeon, an Orthopedic surgeon." She smiled and sipped her coffee.

"Well you know what that means?"

"What?" She smiled at me in wonder.

"He had to stick his finger up some guys butt in medical school." Ha, I had her this time.

"You disgust me." Miley said and stormed away. Sweet, I finally got to her. I followed her into her office.

"So...did Butt Boy ask you out?" I said, as she sat behind her desk and I sat on the other side.

"Not yet, we're taking things slow, getting to know each other first. Why am I even talking to you about this?" She wondered out loud. Annoyed at me as I settled down in my chair.

"In other words he didn't, actually ask you out." I told her and she looked at me with wide eyes and annoyance that I was right again.

She gave me a small glare and then pulled a business card off her desk. Looking at me the whole time while she went and picked up the phone. Then she began dialing some numbers, stopped and looked back at me with a cold stare as the other end of the line rang.

"What are you doing?" I asked, wondering who she was calling and what the hell the stares were for. I took the card out of her hand and saw a number scribbled on the back of a doctors business card. Obviously the guy she was telling me about. I just rolled my eyes and flipped the card back on her desk as she spoke on the phone. This was such the wrong way to start out.

"Hi this is Miley Stewart, calling for Dr. Anderson. Yes I'll hold."

"What are you doin?" I whispered.

"Sh!" Miley snapped.

"Why are you callin the-?"

"Sh! Sh! Sh!" She pointed a finger in my face, then started talking on the phone as the guy answered. "Hi Collin, this is Miley, your neighbor from last night." She smiled and fidgeted while she talked.

"_Hey, everything ok? How's the uh, ankle treatin ya?"_

As soon as their phone conversation began, I picked up a cordless one I saw in the room and pushed a button on it, to direct its line to Miley's. I went to sit down with it and Miley kept waving me away, which I simply ignored. In the meantime I just listened in on their conversation and stayed silent on the other end.

"Couldn't be better. I was just calling to let you know, how much I enjoyed meeting you last night."

"_Thanks."_

"Uh and I was thinking we should go out for dinner sometime." She said, a bit confidently.

"_Oh." _He seemed rather dumfounded by what she said. I couldn't blame him actually.

"There is a new French Bistro in town and an art opening..." I was trying to whisper something off the phone. But she kept putting her hand in front of my face, so I slapped it away. "That uh, got amazing reviews," I tried mouthing words now, but she still held her hand in front of my face, so I slapped it away a few more times until she moved it. "So I was thinking we could go on Friday."

"_Um Friday, it uh...wow."_

"Would Saturday be better?" How oblivious was she?

"_Actually Miley, the thing is, I-I haven't...really settled in yet."_

That was it, now it was my turn to interrupt. I took the phone out of her hand and slammed it down, hanging up both lines. And now preparing myself to get yelled at, but for the best.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Miley shouted at me with shock. I knew it.

"I'm saving you. He was blowing you off." I stated. It was as simple as that.

"He wasn't blowing me off!" She freaked out at me. Apparently it wasn't all that simple to her.

I got up from my chair and sat on her desk, next to her phone. I started talking quietly, "He'll be expecting you to call him, and when you don't, he'll call back."

"How do you know?" Miley asked, rather uptight.

"Because I know how men operate. If you want it to work out with this guy, then you'll listen to me and you'll do exactly as I say. You've probably already done reparable damage, with your psycho, aggressive, control freak, phone call. It might even be too late." I told her. And this was everything she needed to hear because it's the truth. "And if you do salvage the situation, you'll never be more then Miley, his desperate neighbor."

"I'm not desperate." She said, annoyed with me as I sat back down. "Why, did you think I sounded desperate?" Her eyes went wide as she looked into mine, searching for an answer.

"Listen to you, desperately asking me if you sound desperate."

She sighed, then the phone rang and she gasped. "Oh!" She almost grabbed the phone in a hurry. Then I moved quickly and covered it before she could pick up. I had to tell her a few things first. I whispered again,

"Ok, although you won't admit it, you know, that I know what I'm talking about." I said and she looked at me with surprise that I was right in reading her mind. It rang a third time. "It's your call dude." I smirked.

She looked at me for another second then let her hands off the phone. "Oh fine, what do I do?"

**A/N: Reviews are appreciated. Oh and let me know if I should signal in some way that it's an 'added' or made up scene. If nobody has any further comments or thoughts and to just leave it like it is, then I will...**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks a bunch for the reviews guys, and I'm glad you're liking it. The movie really is pretty sweet lol. So see it if you can. Now enjoy!**

"Pick up the phone and say, 'Hey Doug.'"

"Why would I-"

"Just do it." I demanded and so she did. She picked up the ringing phone.

"Hey Doug."

"_Uh no, th-this is Collin."_

"Oh my god, haha, I'm so sorry."

"_Uh, who's uh, Doug?"_

Miley looked at me, listening in on the other phone again, and in wonder what next. Then I covered the mouth piece and whispered. "He's just a guy I'm seeing, nothing serious." She repeated it.

"Just a guy I'm seeing. It's nothin serious." Miley said casually.

"_Oh, ok." _He sounded a bit relieved. Is life and relationships predictable or what?

"Hang on a second." I whispered and she repeated it.

"Hang on a second."

"_Sure."_

We both put the phone on hold and then she stared me down waiting for an answer. "Now what?"

"Just make him wait. If he's still holding on after thirty more seconds, you may actually have a chance." I told her as a matter of factly.

"No one's gonna wait for somebody they were tryin to blow off."

"You better be right about this." Miley hesitated and sighed.

"Just give me a little bit of time, I'm gonna make this guy your bitch." Ha, I'd love to make that happen.

"I don't want a bitch." Miley said quickly. "He is a well, rounded man. Capable of mature emotions and deep abiding love. Things which you know not of." Well I guess I could give her one point for that.

"Maybe not. But I do know about lust, seduction and manipulation. Things that you know not of." I said back at her as she glared at me. "Miley, I'll make you a deal. If you do exactly as I say and you get this guy, then you'll quit giving me shit and you'll work with me. You know as well as I do, that we can make this show huge." I finished and waited for her.

"And if it doesn't work, what do I get?"

I already thought of an answer. I smirked saying, "Then I'll quit."

Her eyes widened as she looked at me, amazed at what I just said. "You're really that confident?"

I sent her another smirk and looked at the time on the phone, saying how long it was on hold now. It was thirty eight seconds and counting. "Ah, its been more then thirty seconds." I sighed simply, knowing that I was really confident.

She paused and thought for a few seconds. "Alright deal. Now what?"

I took the phone from her hand and hung it up again. "Always make an impression." I said as I got up. "Let's get a move on, we have work to do." I turned to the door as she looked at the phone in wonder still.

"But what about the..."

"In five seconds he'll call back, come on." I said and waited for her to get up and away from her desk.

We walked out the door and the phone started ringing again.

"Amazing." Miley was beginning to become convinced, that I knew a lot about it now.

"Hahaha." I chuckled to myself as we left her office. I love it when I'm always right.

I took her to a small cafe for some coffee and then began with the work we needed to do so she could get this guy. I started off by telling her some of the rules and stuff I know about men.

"Rule number one: never criticize."

"Even if it's constructive?"

"Never. Men are incapable of growth, change, or progress. For men, self improvement ends at toilet training."

Miley looked in thought at what I had told her. "Huh."

"Hm, and rule number two: laugh at what ever he says."

"What if what he says isn't funny?" She seemed confused.

"That's irrelevant. A fake laugh is like a fake orgasm." I compared.

"A fake orgasm is good?"

"No, but a fake orgasm is better then no orgasm at all." I pointed out.

"A fake orgasm is no orgasm." She was completely confused.

"Only to you, so you're not the only person in the room you know. Let's not be selfish."

She laughed and then took a sip of her drink. "Now that was perfect. Real or fake?"

"You'll never know." She said in a final tone. She was good, I had to admit.

----

After the cafe, we went to a fancy dress shop.

"Rule number three: men are very visual." I told her as we looked at some long dresses. "We have to change your look."

"What's wrong with my look?" Miley asked, looking down at herself.

I pulled her aside to walk with me. "Miley, you're a very attractive woman, but you are completely inaccessible. You're all about comfort and ifficientcy."

"What's wrong with comfort and efficiency?" She asked, looking at me completely clueless.

I sighed, "Well nothing. Except no one wants to fuck it." I looked her in the eye. Then she just looked away and rolled her eyes at what I told her.

There was a lady that worked at the store, standing a few feet away from us. I snapped my fingers and she turned toward me. "Hello, may I be of assistance?"

"Yes you may. We need cocktail dresses, tight jeans and some bra's..." Then I put my hands up to Mileys breasts just to magnify my point. She looked ticked off, but ignored my gestures. "...that'll make my friends breasts sit up and say...hello." I smiled.

"They're not saying hello now? What are they saying?" She asked quickly, worried.

"Actually they're giving off more of a, a passing non. Rather then an out right...greeting." The store clerk gave her sudden input, to which I nodded my head along with. "Why don't, why don't you try this on?" She handed me a black laced bra for Miley. "I think this would be wonderful." She smiled.

"Ahaha, now that, is a bra. Mhm." I held it up to me for fun. Then I held it up to Miley, "Your boobies in this thing, say put me in your mouth, I taste good." I said, then Miley snatched it away in disgust and walked off.

Next I had her try on dresses. She held some up first. "Length is very important. We need short enough to see some thigh. But not so short to see..." I flipped up a dress a lot "...bage."

"Mm, bage says you're trying too hard." The clerk commented, who was still helping us.

"Ya think?" Miley said to her sarcastically. Clearly annoyed with her by now.

Jeans were next. "Jeans are all about the curvature of the ass." I said and then looked around at Miley's. "You've uh, well you've got the raw materials. Now all you need is the proper presentation." I said, handing her a pair of jeans. I also noticed a small smile she suddenly had.

"Did you just tell me I have a nice ass?" She asked simply.

"Oh, do you always have to be so crass." I said and smacked her on her ass, to get going into the dressing room.

Then once we were finished with the store, I talked about the next rule as we walked through a park. And Miley carried lot's of bags.

"Rule number four: never talk about your problems, cause men don't really listen or care." It was that simple.

"Some men care." She was oblivious to this.

"No, some men pretend to care. When they ask you how you're doing, it's just guy code for, let me stick my dick in your ass." Miley gasped. "Oh I know you think Collin is above it all, but trust me, he's a guy. He's even remotely into you. He's probably thought about each one of your oarapheses at least ten times." I said naturally.

"I love how you assume all men are as perverse as you say."

"Oh I don't assume. I know." I said with complete confidence. As I was looking at her I noticed something else. I stopped walking and faced her. "Wait, we need to make one more stop."

"Why? I have tons of stuff."

"Ah, we have to make your hair longer. Men like something to grab onto other then your ass."

"Oh my hair is fine, there is nothing wrong with my hair."

"Miley, a ponytail implys that you are either operating heavy machinery, or emptying the litter box. Neither of those things inspires an erection." I said and then started walking again as she protested.

"Well why is it my responsibility to inspire and erection? Why isn't that his job?" She was frustrated.

"That's just how it works sometimes." I sighed. God, I had to explain everything.

"Wait, how could you know so much about men anyway? I mean you're not even a guy, Lilly. But you sure act like it." Miley chuckled, peeking into a bag as she walked. I stopped and faced her.

"Alright, I grew up with four brothers. Two younger and two older...yeah, I'm the poor middle child. Anyway, I learned some things from my older brothers, one being successful in getting a girl and the other isn't. Then I'm also learning from my younger brothers, who are only like four years apart from me, but both the idiots of the family and can't get things right. I find this interesting and that's how I know so much." I told her, staring her in the eyes.

**A/N: Please review once again. And thanks for the tips as well...**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Glad to hear your opinions on Lilly, hehe. Yup she sure does speak her mind. But for those of you who haven't seen the movie (and forgot my beginning a/n) she's playing the guy in the movie. He always speaks his mind and is bold and confident at whatever he says. Well I figured Lilly fit best for his role, so I just thought you might want a little info there. Anywho, enjoy...**

Next thing, I was in her apartment and waiting for her to change into one of the dresses we bought. I waited downstairs, in a rocking chair, looking around me for something to do. I saw her cat jump on the edge of the couch and then look at me. Well I didn't give a damn about him right now. Then I looked to my right and picked up a ball of yarn and knitting needles from the floor. I looked at them with confusion and didn't know what to think of her. Well at least I wouldn't have to teach her how to knit. Then I threw it back down and looked at a book.

Then she came downstairs a minute later. Wearing a long sleeveless, black dress, with straps. High heels and the top showed off a good amount of cleavage, but not too much. "Well, what do you think?" She asked me as if this were no big deal. I was still sitting down and on the inside, I loved it, but tried not to show it. Although I think I smiled a little. And she turned around for me, it was even nicer as the back went low and bare.

"Uh, not bad." I said, keeping calm.

"I just, I don't wanna be precived as a bimbo. I mean..." Miley trailed off, looking down at her new look.

"And I don't want you to be a bimbo. You have to be two people..." I composed myself to talk professional again. "...the saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper." I said, then got up from the chair. "And on one hand you have to push the guy away with a cold indifference." I told her as I moved the back of her hair around. The extensions came out really nice. "On the other, you have to be a sexually teasing, tornado." I said to her as I looked into her eyes and put my hands on the sides of her shoulders. She slightly chuckled at my last comment. "Now, we have to teach you flirting."

"I know how to flirt." Miley defended.

"You know how to flirt." I said and now was a great time to mock her. "Oh, my name's Miley, and I love reading. I also love cats, gardening and romantic picnics." I said in a low, mocking voice. "I don't think so." Then I walked behind her to grab my drink on the table beside the couch. Then she suddenly started mocking me.

"Hey babe! Wearin any underwear?" She smacked my butt.

"Hey, I wouldn't say that and I wouldn't grab ass." I told her, then sipped my drink.

"What's wrong with a little ass grabbing?" I set my drink down so I wouldn't spill it, cause she was still touching me hard. "I mean what's it there for, for me not to grab it?" She said in a husky tone and smacked my ass again.

"Whoa!" I turned around and faced her.

"You're just a set of oraphesis and a pair of tee tahs." She kept going.

"You are a deeply, deeply, disturbed person." I said, facing her closely.

"Hm..." Miley said and moved closer to me. "Maybe I'm just a really good student." She smiled as she started something interesting.

"Would you stop doin that?" I looked at her confused.

"Doing what?" She said, as if nothing was happening at all.

"Running...your finger...down there...over me." I responded, nervously.

"Why? Is it turning you on?"

"Uh, maybe..."

"Ha, that's weird, I think I kinda like it." Miley said softly, as she ran her finger along the top of my chest.

I looked at her, inches away from her face. "Really?"

"...Sucker." She smiled.

I turned my head to the side. "I knew it. Hey, no teaching the teacher." Miley started to laugh, then a few knocks came at her door.

"Who is it?" She yelled.

"It's Collin."

She turned back to me in panic. "I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. I-"

"Shh! Ok?" I shut her up.

"Ok."

"Ok, keep the conversation under just a minute. Now go." I said and then ran around and hid behind the couch. Oh yeah, real smart Truscott.

"Under a minute, under a minute." Miley repeated to herself as she started heading for the door. But then I thought of something and got up from the couch.

"Oh wait, wait, wait." I whispered loudly and then made a hand gesture for her to turn around. Miley obviously was thinking I had to check something, but I slapped her on her butt, getting her back.

She gave me an angry glare and then hurried to the door and opened it. "Hi."

"Hey." Collin said and walked in a few steps, looking at Miley. "Wow, you look great." He complimented.

"Oh yeah I was just...doin the dishes." She quickly lied. I have to admit that was a good one.

"So what happened the other day?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you put me on hold and you never called me back."

"Oh my god, was that you? I'm so sorry."

"Yeah it's ok."

"Uh Collin, would you mind actually giving me a call a little bit later? I'm just so busy, I gotta get back to those dishes." Miley told him. And I was slightly peeking and watched her gently push him out and then close the door. Then she looked over at me. "What now?" She asked in anticipation.

"No that's good. Now make him suffer." I whispered.

"Make him suffer." She turned towards the door saying, "Suffer." Miley whispered. Then from the other side of the door, Collin spoke up.

"Miley, I was wondering if you'd like to go to the Devil's game with me on Saturday."

As he asked, Miley smiled bigger and bigger. Then looked at me in awe, that what I did worked. I gave her a thumbs up. Then she started doing a little spazy, jumping, happy dance. I just looked at her weird.

**A/N: Well there's that one, I know it was short, but I hope ya liked it though...and the next one will be longer, trust me, cause it's the ball game next lol...**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Wow, real sorry bout the neglectful of updating. It's just a vacation lately and the holiday's coming up or whatever and just excuses. Anyway though, here's the really funny baseball game, hope you all enjoy it and have a great read...**

Normal POV-

The next day, was Miley's first date with this this guy. Lilly figured she had probably been on dates before, but was just really nervous, because it's been awhile.

Lilly and Miley got prepared with earpieces and mouthpieces that they put on themselves, so that Miley would learn what to do. As she walked in the baseball stadium, Lilly was already there, almost at the top, but not too far away from Miley. And Collin got front row tickets for the two of them.

"Ok I have a visual. Nod if you can hear me." Lilly said, looking down from the stands and watching the two walk to their seats with some popcorn and soda. Miley nodded. "Just relax, it's gonna be fine. Now just do exactly what I tell you, when I tell you to do it, ok?" Miley heard her orders through her earpiece.

"Do you follow baseball?" Collin asked.

"Do something, none comital." Lilly told her.

Miley shrugged her shoulders and moved her head around, up and down in a rather big nod. "Ya, hahmm..."

"You ok?" Collin asked.

"I'm fine." She replied quickly, a bit embarrassed.

"That was a little over the top. Nice try." Lilly tried to compliment.

"Well thanks." Miley said back to her.

"For what?" Collin asked. Confused at what she suddenly said.

"Hahaha, well thanks, for being you." Miley smiled. Lilly was relieved at her quick recovery.

He looked at Miley for a moment. "You're welcome." He told her nicely.

Suddenly there was a great play made and several people stood up to cheer. Lilly was wearing a hat and a jacket for the Devil's. And also stood up as well to blend in more, but that didn't help at this one moment. Right then someone recognized Lilly as the TV star, as she was walking up to her seat. She had obviously been watching the show for awhile.

"Oh my god, you're Lilly Truscott. I love you." She said and gave Lilly a quick hug. She was rather caught off guard at her first fan. And also what came next, the girls boyfriend standing right next to the girl.

"Hey, hey, hey dude, what the hell?!" The guy shouted at Lilly and separated the hug.

"Dude what the fuck?!" Lilly shouted back at him. Not her preferred choice of words, but she needed some privacy.

"Dude what the fuck?!" Miley suddenly shouted. Repeating Lilly, just like she had told her to do.

"What?" Collin said to her in confusion.

"I'm not talkin to you." Lilly told her.

"I'm not talking to you." Miley said slowly this time. Wondering why Lilly had her say that.

Geez, how dense could Miley get? Lilly thought to herself. It was kind of cute, but at this moment, very crucial that she shouldn't be and know what's going on.

"Ok, did I do something wrong?" Collin asked.

"Mmm..." Lilly grumbled. "...No stop, listen. Tell, tell him you saw him looking at another girl." Lilly said quickly, trying to recover the situation.

"I-I-I saw you, I saw you looking at another girl." She accused him.

"Who?" Collin wondered. Really confused.

"That, that, that girl. Right there." Miley said and pointed to the first girl she saw. It happened to be a big lady handing out hot dogs.

"She's just coming to give us a couple hot dogs." Collin chuckled, now passing everything Miley just said, off as nothing big. "Two, thank you." He said to her and then gave one to Miley.

"Oh ok." She laughed as well. But in a fake way now.

"Ok, we need a quick recovery." Lilly spoke into the mouthpiece quickly. "Make sure you put the hot dog in your mouth, nice and slowly." She said as Miley was opening the wrapper, then began doing what Lilly said. "Men like watching, a penis shaped food, go into a girls mouth." Lilly said, smiling.

Completely caught off guard at that comment, Miley stopped eating the hot dog and instead, spilled some of the drink that she was holding. Spilling it to the side of her, she spilled it on Collins crotch.

"I'm so sorry!"

"No it's ok, really." He said, surprised at the sudden cold feeling.

"Oh god, I'm so, so sorry. You know what, I can get this out, I'm sure I can." She said, grabbing some napkins and started rubbing his inner thighs. She had no idea how she looked. But was only focused on getting the stain out. "What kind of fabric is this?" Miley asked. Still rubbing on his thigh.

"I don't know, cotton?" Collin said, unsure.

"Cotton? Oh, cotton's the worst. Well actually leathers the worst." She stated, rubbing harder. Collin was simply holding his arms up, with his drink, while she rubbed.

"Miley."

Lilly hoped she would hear her through the crowd, as they had started laughing at Miley's actions. To which she didn't notice. Then the camera man walking around did notice, and he walked up on them, then put them on the big screen, surrounded by the classic 'Kiss Cam' logo and lot's of the crowd stood up and laughed. Even the baseball players stopped and looked up at the screen.

Lilly stood up with the crowed around her, mouth open in awe. She spoke into the mouthpiece again, this time, clearly getting Miley's attention. "Miley, Miley you might wanna look up."

She rubbed a little bit more and then registered what I had said and looked up. She was on the big screen, and on the kiss cam, for making a scene like that. Now she was embarrassed. Lilly thought. After Miley looked up, Lilly told her, "Way to go Miley." In a casual voice.

Lilly's POV-

Walking on the way back to their apartment complex. I followed. "Got ya. I'm in position." I said, hiding behind some bushes.

"Can't say today was boring." Collin said with a sigh.

"You're being nice. I've embarrassed you." Miley said.

"No, you're just um, not what I'm used to."

"I know." She sighed and looked towards my way.

"No, you know what actually it's a good thing. You know I'm used to women I can figure out in five seconds. But I can't do that with you." He smiled.

"He's an idiot. I figured you out at two." I commented to her dully and then smirked as well. "Now say goodnight and stick your tits out. We're gonna give this one last shot."

"Well goodnight." Miley said, sticking her tits out and started turning around. Then Collin suddenly pulled her back to him and kissed her on the lips, slowly for several seconds. This caught me completely off guard and as I saw it, my mouth went agape. I didn't think he was going to move that fast, but obviously did. A slight feeling in the pit of my stomach grew, it sort of felt angry? I just shrugged it off as my system working wrong. Then listened closely to what they said next.

"That definitely made up for my wet crotch." Collin said quickly, without thinking and only thinking about the kiss.

"Ha, yeah me too. No scratch that, I didn't have one." Miley said quickly and then smiled again.

"Yeah, haha. I'll see ya later." Collin told her, walking back towards his door.

"Yeah, bye."

They both walked to their doors and said goodnight from just across the small pathway. Miley turned around and acted like she was unlocking her door just like Collin. Once he was inside, she ran down the pathway, where I waited in front of a small fountain.

"Oh hahaha." I laughed in joy as she ran to me.

"You did it! You did it! You did it! You did it!" She said happily and put her arms around my neck. At that moment I felt an urge to put my arms around her waist, but I had to move on.

As she let go, I moved back. "I didn't do anything, it was you." I had to say, I have to admit she was really pretty. "I mean don't ask me why, but I think he likes you." I knew it was true, but part of me didn't want to believe it.

"He's such a great guy right?"

I paused for a second, "Yeah he's dreamy." I lied.

"Yeah and he fits all ten of the criteria on my checklist." Miley told me, way too excited.

"Items one through nine, had something to do with him pretty much being gay." I casually said.

Miley was still in complete bliss. "I'm gonna ignore that, because I am in such, a good mood." She said, looking up at the dark sky and backing away, back to her apartment.

I smirked, "Yeah I heard...wet crotch." She smiled back at me and then walked into her apartment.

I turned around and began walking away. Taking my earpiece out and my hat off. As I walked, I felt confused and I also felt that it showed on my face too, but it was dark as I left the complex. The confusing thing was annoying and wouldn't stop bugging me. Now it felt even worse. Especially now that I had coached Miley through her first date and how to dress better to be more accessible. But the thing that was even worse now, was that it felt like I had just given something away. Something very valuable to me. Although now it was someone. But I have to keep reminding myself that this is business, not personal and there shouldn't be any feelings that get in the way.

Miley's POV-

Lilly's next show was funny, even I had to admit. Just for describing how bonobo monkey's use sex, as a way to end an argument, she went all out and even wore a monkey costume. At the same time I was listening and watching, I was also doing some other paper work as well, Joy was sitting next to me and simply watching the show too.

"Small person, on set." Joy suddenly said, as she watched a kid walk by the two of us.

I got up from my chair and table quickly and followed him. He looked about 13 years old, but still to young for something like this in my opinion. "No, no, no, no, this is, this is not for children." I whispered as I caught up with him and pointed to the show and Lilly.

"It's ok, I know her." He looked at me.

"You do? Ok." I looked back and nodded, as he and I watched Lilly finish up the show.

"...Sounds like a great argument for evolution if you ask me." She said casually, still holding the mask to the soft, fuzzy costume, in her hands. She never put it on, but the whole idea still made everyone laugh. "And that my friends, is the ugly truth." She pointed at the screen. Then a camera man said we're out and Lilly came walking toward us.

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**A/N: And that my friends, is the end of this chapter! Lol, I'm such a dork I know it. Yeah well I'll put more up tomorrow or Saturday evening. And updates will be quicker again, don't worry and please review...**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: It didn't take as long as the time before. Alright that's all I can say for that, so think of it that way. Well I hope you enjoy this real long one now. I mean seriously, this dinner scene...lmao.. was hilarious! Don't know if I did it justice, but I guess you'll just have to judge and review and then judge again for yourselves lol. K well, enjoy...

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Now surprised at who she saw standing in front of me. "Hey, what are you doing here? I told you, no watching the show, especially live." Lilly told the boy. I stood a good distance away from them and watched as Lilly talked to him.

"I need some emergency advice. Tracy asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Is it, dorky if I say yes?" The kid asked Lilly.

"Dorky? Hell no. Are you kidding? You're ahead of the game." I smiled at that, Lilly was good with kids. That was cute. What the hell? I have a boyfriend. What am I thinking? "Women are coming to you. You know how cool that is?" She pat him on the head and he started walking away. "Now get the hell outta here. I'll see you at five. We'll celebrate."

"Ok. Don't forget the pizza, king kong." He added as he left.

"Hey, have I ever?" Lilly walked toward me and then to a chair to start getting out of costume. I followed her.

"He lives with you?"

"Well, next door, with my sister."

"Oh."

"He's my nephew."

"Oh." I smiled after him.

"Cute kid."

"Yeah." I smiled in agreement.

Then Lilly turned around and faced her back to me. "Do me." She said, referring to the strings, holding the costume together in the back. I chuckled. I don't know why, but I did. Then un tied the strings.

"Ok, so guess what?" I wanted to tell her quickly.

"Hm?"

"Collin called, he want's to get together again." I smiled and did a small jumping dance for a quick second. Nothing huge. Lilly just rolled her eyes at me. So I went and sat on a directors chair and Lilly sat next to me. Then a lady walked up and helped Lilly pull the legs of the costume, off. "So how long should I wait, to have sex with him?" I was curious.

"Well, the more you make him beg for it, the more you're gonna keep him on the hook. So do everything else but..." I listened to her carefully and smiled. "...But then, show him that beneath that control freak, exterior of yours, that there's a sexual deviant, waiting to be unleashed." Lilly told me, as she came behind me and put her hands on my shoulders.

I simply giggled at that last comment. "Hmhm, no, no I'm not a sexual deviant. Mh mh." I said, half giggling.

"Good point, I'm guessing you've been out of practice for what, a year?" She guessed. Man she was sure pushy and confident about everything too. Kinda got me going.

Snap out of it Stewart! "No...11 months." I slowly confessed to her.

"God, 11 months. How do you live? Come on." Lilly said and pulled me toward the snack table. "So how often do you uh...?" Lilly oddly trailed off, so I kept the conversation.

"Do I what?" Several more seconds, nothing. No confidence? "Do I what?" I repeated.

"You know, uh...flick the bean?" She finally said.

"What bean?" I asked, completely oblivious.

"Flick it?" She said making a little gesture with her fingers and looking down, causing me to look downward. Then it suddenly dawned on me.

"Oh gross! God, what is wrong with you?" I gave her a small slap in the shoulder.

"Haha, well actually I call it masturbating. But I thought that may offend your delicate, lady like, sensibilities." She told me casually, as I ate some snacks. "So how often, do you flick it?" Lilly asked again.

"I don't know! How often do you flick it?" I whispered loudly and pissed off.

"You're only asking me that, so you can picture me flicking mine, while you flick yours."

"Oh no, I would never picture you while I do that. Which is not something I do. I don't do that. Not ever." I said, getting strict now.

"Yes you would." Lilly spoke casually again, as she sipped some coffee she had been preparing.

"No."

"Not ever?"

"No, no I find it...impersonal."

"Miley, what could be more personal then you flicking your bean?" Lilly whispered, a bit concerned.

"Oh god, I just don't see myself that way, ok?" I said strictly and pointed to her.

Lilly put her hand on my back, turned me around and we started walking in another direction and then she whispered, "Ok, well I do." After that comment I looked completely confused as to why she would say that, then finished more as we walked. "Because if you don't wanna have sex with you, then why the hell with Collin?" Very clever Lilly. I got what she meant now.

That night, I opened my door after I heard a few knocks. There wasn't anybody there, except a small, gift looking bag, with handles, and tissue paper coming up from the top. I looked around once more, still nobody in sight. Then I picked up the bag and took it inside. I sat on my couch with my cat next to me and pulled out a card first thing.

I pet Dartanion as I opened it. "What is this? What is this?" I mostly spoke to my meowing cat as I took a card out of the envelope. The only image was a monkey swinging from a tree on the front. Then inside, there was writing.

_This Present_

_isn't for you_

_it's for your_

_BEAN!_

Now this sort of thing I could tell was obviously from Lilly. I smiled, set the card next to me and then went to take out what was in the bag. I pulled out a sort of long box, triangular shaped and purple. "Astreal 1." I said to myself out loud. Then opened the flip cover of the front of the card board box, to see more details. "Oh, Vibrating Brief. Wow." I was rather amused by the picture it showed as well. It looked like just a small and simple, black lace piece of underwear. But it included a remote. Though I didn't care for it now and I set it aside for later.

I had another date with Collin that night and was ready for him to arrive. The last thing I needed to do was just put some lipstick on. So after I was downstairs, I looked in a big mirror and applied the last touch. Then heard a few beeps from my cell phone, which was sitting on the table next to me. It was just a small text from Collin, saying that he would be running late. So I got a small drink, poured some into a glass and sat down.

I sat in front of the mirror and I left the box Lilly gave to me on the table in front of the mirror as well. It reflected back at me. Tauntingly. I took a few sips of my drink. I looked at it again. It still teased me and I decided what the hell. I should get it over with. After all, if Collin was going to be late. I had a little time to try this out right?

I was wearing a white dress that fell just past my lower legs. So I easily took my underwear off and replaced it with the vibrating, black laced one that was in the box. I also took out a remote from the box, that controlled the level of vibration. It was a short and round cylinder, with a digital screen on one side, to show the different levels. Just as I was about to push the button to start making some levels go high, I heard the doorbell ring.

"He said he was running late. Ah, what is he doing here already?" I said to myself, annoyed about being interrupted in the middle of this. So I quickly hid my other underwear and put the remote in my small purse, then went to answer the door. To my surprise, it wasn't Collin.

"Good, you're ready." Lilly smiled, as she stood in the doorway. Standing next to her was John and they were both wearing suits.

"For what?" I said to Lilly without a breath. I hadn't the slightest clue about why they were here.

Johns face fell in annoyance. "The dinner with cooprate. Didn't you get me email?"

"No. And I can't, I have a date with Collin." I turned from John and gave Lilly a quick, smug look. Happy that I got this one on my own. She smirked back, annoyed.

"You can't go because you have a date?" John said, more then asked and rather taken a back by that.

"You have no idea how hard those are, for her to get." Lilly partly mumbled. I gave her an annoyed look at that comment. Although John heard.

"Well then let's pick him up on the way. Come on!" Apparently they were in a hurry and John was always stressed about simple things. So I decided to take that offer and go with them. "Let's go. Right now. Come on." John continued to hurry us out of the door.

"Come on, come on let's go." Lilly added, so I quickly followed with an accidental slamming of my door.

While John drove and Lilly took the front seat, that left Collin and I in the back seat. Then while the four of us drove to the restraunt, Lilly spoke up first.

"Sorry to hijack your date brother."

"No worries. You're a producer as well?" He asked her.

"No dude, I'm the talent." Lilly casually replied.

"So you're a, an anchor then." Collin said.

"No, I do The Ugly Truth." Lilly replied again, sounding a bit annoyed with him.

"Hasn't he ever seen our show?" John asked. I'm assuming the question was directed towards me, so I was about to reply, but Lilly answered instead. Damn.

"Come on John, our shows way to over for Collin, he's a doctor."

"Yes that's right, he is." I spoke up, but then Lilly started again.

"He doesn't wanna hear about things like implants and oral sex!" Lilly said to John and then quickly glanced back at me with a wink. What the hell?

Collin grabbed onto the back of Lilly's seat. "You talk about oral sex?" He asked, a bit excited.

"Oh look, we're here." I pointed out the front of the window. Finally a breath of relief to get out of this conversation. Once we walked into the restaurant, I narrowed my eyes at who I saw and thought that this was Lilly's doing. "You invited the jello twins?!" I whispered loudly in her ear, as I grabbed her arm. Even though they weren't really twins, I thought it was just a clever nickname for the two of them.

"Yeah, I thought it was good thinkin." She simply said.

"Certainly can't hurt." John added his input. Hearing my annoyed comment obviously.

Then Lilly put an arm around each of their shoulders, so she was in the middle. Then they walked to the table. "You girls look quite fetching." I heard her say, as she looked from side to side of her and I walked behind them.

For some reason it annoyed me. Why the heck was she like this? And what the hell is she. And especially, why so open about anything and everything? I would try and ask her, she just gives me riddles! We got to our table and I wiped off my glare. John began to introduce a few more guys to me. I already knew them, but he just wanted to make sure I remembered them. Then they were all excited that Lilly Truscott was there. I rolled my eyes as they said her full name. She was in the big spotlight now.

We finally took our seats for dinner. Ironically enough, I was sitting in between Collin and Lilly and then sitting next to Lilly, was John and a few other guys, who each sat by one of the jello twins. Then after some champagne was poured everyone went silent for a few sips. I set my purse down by the bottom of my chair, just next to my feet. Then Lilly spoke up with a rude question, but everyone laughed of course.

"So are you guys here to give me a raise or what? Ow!" She laughed as well as everyone else sitting on the table. I simply smiled sarcastically, but in the meantime gave her a small kick in the foot to pay for that comment. But little did I know that I was about to pay in a different way as well. As I moved my foot to kick, the back of it knocked over my purse, which was unfortunately open. Then my extremely, precious remote, rolled right out of there and several feet away. I had no idea what I had done about that. I was just simply focusing on kicking Lilly. Who knew that a little kid, about 8 years old looking, would see it, pick it up and sit back at his table, right across from ours. I had no idea at the time.

Normal POV-

"Hahaha! Oh that's my girl, always with the jokes." John said, slapping Lilly on the shoulder and oblivious to the fact that Miley hurt her. He just wanted to keep impressing the other guys who were higher in the show. His bosses as well.

"Yeah well..." Lilly trailed off and let them laugh, then Miley tried to keep it serious.

Miley spoke in a serious tone. "No really, we are very excited about this years rating increases. And we're hoping that in the next quarter we can uh-whoa!" She didn't mean to add that, but was completely caught off guard by a sudden, small vibrate down south. Shit, she thought.

"Oh god." She said quietly. The little boy had two small levels turned up on the remote.

"What's wrong." Collin was concerned.

"Nothing." She turned to the rest of the people at the table. "Um, can you um...excuse me." Miley pointed her finger, meaning one second, and then moved her head down past the table and looked at her purse. "Shit!" The sight of nothing but a regular purse.

"Sorry she's..." Lilly said to the rest of the table and trailed off as she put her head down to ask Miley. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking...for, the remote." Miley said, beginning to become out of breath.

"What remote?" Lilly still had no idea.

"For the-ah!" Miley said in a whisper and slammed her hand on top of Lilly's leg at the sudden harder feeling. The kid had turned it up a few more notches as he shook it. Still wondering what it was. "...the underwear." Miley whispered, breathing heavily now.

Lilly gave a big smirk and held back a laugh. "You're, you're wearing them now?" Lilly asked in a whisper. Miley just nodded now. Simply out of breath, then suddenly jumped up from more notches going up on the remote. Which neither of them had no idea where it was still.

"Oh! Wow! Yeah!" Miley tried hard not to shout.

The whole table was confused, but Lilly couldn't hold it back and was just laughing at her and the way she was reacting to this now. Especially since she got to see it. And right next to her. But since nobody still had a clue, Lilly stopped laughing. She also noticed Miley was crossing her legs hard, hoping that would help cushion some of the blow.

"So Miley, tell Herold about the new teaser campaign we're starting next week." John suddenly asked her, just as she said she was going to leave for the restroom. "You're, you're gonna love it." John told him.

Miley sat back down and began talking. "Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure." She gripped hard on the back of her chair and giving a fake smile in the meantime. Then smiled at Lilly while she smirked back, knowing the real truth. "Well, they're 15 seconds...every hour, on the h-h-hour." Miley stuttered slowly.

As Lilly listened, she swirled her drink in her glass and smiled in delight. Then looked behind her and stopped smiling for a moment, as she noticed a kid playing with a remote. Then smiled again and looked back at Miley to hear her finish the rest. Lilly figured now that she knew where it was, what harm could it do?

"Yup. They're so...so...You tell them Lilly, you should tell them! Yes, yes! You tell them!" Miley suddenly told her, obviously it was too hard for her to talk at this point in the vibrating. Which you could hear and Collin even checked his pocket, wondering if it was his phone.

"Actually I was really enjoying the way you were telling them. It was, great." Lilly said with a wink. Miley knew she could be a real tease at times, but now was probably the worst time to tease her like this. She was simply sitting back and enjoying her drink. While way down south, Miley's crotch was vibrating like she had been out of practice for a long time.

Miley just decided to try and stick it out since Lilly was no help. So she gripped the ends of the table for support. Looking up at the ceiling now, to avoid eye contact and spoke in a spacey voice. "They're uh...they're unlike anything you've ever felt, anything. And they're uh...like telling The Ugly Truth. And they are just so...so on the edge." Then the kid figured out the highest level and made Miley jump from her seat again, and pounded the table a few times. "Oh god! Oh god! So great! Yeah, you're gonna love them." She said, trying to keep the conversation flowing in with the topic.

The vibration had stopped at the convenient time. She had just reached and finished her climax. While Miley held her back with one hand and the table with the other, John wiped his forehead with the cloth napkin, obviously overwhelmed at how much she liked what they were going to do with the show. Lilly simply smiled out of joy that Miley had finally felt what it was like and had the weird feeling inside her again. She liked the fact that she got to see Miley's reaction as well.

Collin simply said, "Gotta love her enthusiasm right?" He shrugged his shoulders. Idiot, Lilly thought.

"I'm gonna...use the restroom. If you'll excuse me." Miley said, completely out of breath now and spoke to everyone at the table while she was standing up. As she left, Lilly noticed it looked like she was even weak in the knees. Lilly had a sudden urge to follow Miley. But thought twice about business. They were rivals and known that way by their co workers. So she stayed in her chair. Deciding to stick to the status quo.

After dinner, Lilly walked over to the kid. The remote was still off, but she took it anyway. Lilly knelled down momentarily and ruffled his hair quickly. "Sorry buddy, that's my toy." Then she took it and left the kid, who was still content and eating pudding.

Miley's POV-

As I was walking out of the restroom and back to the group, I looked up and saw Lilly taking the remote out of a little boys hand, then she began walking away. Furious about this, I quickly walked over to Lilly and grabbed it from her. "Did you know he had it the whole time?" I whispered loudly at Lilly as we walked to the entrance. Then I put the remote back in my purse now.

"Not the whole time, just part of the time. I figured I should let you finish." Lilly smirked casually. Annoyingly right though.

"How kind." I said and gave her a big and sarcastic smile.

We both stood next to each other, at the front desk in the lobby and waited for the rest of the group. Lilly spoke some more before they arrived. She sighed. "Thanks for coming tonight. To dinner. That kinda coming."

"Mhm." Sarcasm dripping all over the simple word. I couldn't think of what else to say. That was the weirdest sensation I've ever had. And her comments weren't any help.

"He likes you by the way. Collin. I can tell." Lilly told me, oddly serious. I think that's the first time I've ever heard her talk that way. Now that was actually a helpful comment.

"Really?" I was excited.

Just then the group walked up and Collin walked up to me. "We ready to go?" He asked us. I smiled.

Lilly became stiff now, as she always seemed to be around him. But simply went back to herself again and spoke another dumb, double meaning comment. Obviously Collin didn't get it, because only Lilly and I knew what went on. "I know Miley is." She said, stiffly.

"Yeah." I simply replied. Smiling big and I started walking to the door. "Let's go."

"Take care, thanks." Collin told Lilly and shook her hand. Lilly smiled back, but I could tell it was fake. Why could I tell? I didn't know her that well did I? As I was just about to walk out the door, I glanced back at Lilly. I saw her smile fade and a small sparkle in her eyes go out. It had been fake. She doesn't like him. But she knows that he likes me. She caught my eye too, but obviously didn't care what I saw because she didn't look away from me. She just watched me walk out the door.

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**A/N: Well review please and feel free to review how ever long you want. I especially love positive... scratch that, I especially love any kinds of reviews for that matter! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Well thank you so much to all of my faithful reviewers. It's good to hear that you all want some Liley action. Yeah well me too and don't worry, it's coming up. A few Liley, added scenes in this chapter, but a heck of a lot more is in the next chapter. Like the heated, dancing scene...wow, bet you all can't wait for that...**

The next weekend went great. Besides the caviare Collin fed me. We had a really fun picnic by a little stream. Then hopped over the rocks and back into the trees. Throughout the week, I met him for some coffee. One time Joy was with me and met him. As his back was turned to make some coffee at a shop. We both did a little happy dance and Joy was so excited to finally meet him. Then Collin turned around as we were just finishing and blushing just as well.

And one time during my work week, I got the biggest vase of flowers sent to me, that I had ever seen. It was a real glass vase and the flowers were really fresh. Joy and I looked at the card and quietly screamed, as we were so excited he would do something this sweet. Then did a small little jumping dance. Little did I know that Lilly was across the room, helping another girl with some make up. When she heard squealing she looked over and saw us doing a little happy dance, then she saw the flowers next to me as well. I caught her eye for just a second. Lilly had been smiling a little, because she had been doing something else. Then since she noticed me being gifted by Collin, her smile faded again. Mine started to, but our eyes stared through each others for several seconds. It was amazing how much you could see through a person from across such a big room like that. My guess was that we were half a gym court away. She obviously connected the little jumping to Collin, so she turned away. And then noticed she had gotten make up all over the other girls face. Her sudden turn away caused me to snap back into reality and think about work again.

That evening, Lilly and I had to get together and discuss some key business points and details, in upcoming events. Although from the stare out we had earlier and since it was just the two of us tonight; can I say awkward much? But I would try to make the best of it, forget about today and focus on what we needed to discuss.

We went to a small bar, got a few drinks and sat down at a little table.

"Alright, so we have the balloon festival coming up and I thought for sweeps, it might be nice to do a segment on how men are full of hot air." I said to Lilly and smiled sarcastically at her, from across the other side of the table. She just chuckled a little and ate a few peanuts. "Right, that's good?" I chuckled a bit too.

"No."

"We should still do some stuff on location, cause you're great when you're interacting with people." I said, looking down at some paper work I brought with me.

"I'm sorry, did you just say I'm great?"

"Yeah, kinda are." I admitted.

"Hm, back at ya babe."

At that little exchange of conversation, I knew she had to be smiling, so I looked up from my papers. She wasn't. Not even showing off a fake smile in a public bar. She was just sitting back in her chair and looking behind me, still slight sadness in her eyes. I couldn't help myself from just keeping it business.

"Lilly can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything."

"I've noticed, and I'm pretty sure you have too, that you haven't been as happy as much as you used to be and you've just been putting on all these fake smiles...why?"

She leaned forward to look closer at me. "Ha, _you_ have no idea why? Oh and yes, of course I've noticed."

"Well...no not really."

"Man you're thick. I didn't think this one was that hard to put the pieces together. I mean there's only a few to make it all click."

Now I leaned forward. "Would ya just tell me why?" I think I leaned in a little to close to her now, cause her eyes were more blazing blue then I had ever seen them before.

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?" Lilly argued.

"The hell I would. Just because I seem to be so oblivious, so yeah."

Lilly's POV

She stared into my eyes for a few more seconds longer. Lingering in that same position. Then I suddenly switched the topic with no warning. "So tell me this...why hasn't some, fancy New York show stolen you away?" I said while still snacking on peanuts and leaned back.

Miley put down her drink. "Oh huh, I much prefer Sacramento to New York." She spoke in her professional business voice now. Obviously she didn't want to push it since I changed the topic so fast.

"Ha, come on, you just like bein a big fish in a little pond huh?"

"No, no. And Sacramento isn't really a pond it's more of a lake, or even and estuary." She nodded her head, thinking carefully. I looked behind her as she spoke. "And it's a great place to raise a family...uh, really good school systems..." There were some dirty looking people at the bar. Especially some drinking women in short shirts and skirts. But I simply nodded as she talked. "...the parks are clean and well maintained and safe." Then a slutty looking girl, finished off a big glass real fast. "And there's a much lower divorce rate here, then there is in New York." I looked at that and then gave Miley a look. She took it as a look-behind-you look. Why we had that sort of connection? I don't know. But she still looked behind her at the weird looking girl and looked back in disgust. "Uh, yes well, thank god Collin would never be into a women like that." She simply said.

"Oh yeah I forgot, Collin only likes Women with quality huh?"

She looked a bit pissed. "That's a trait to be admired, not mocked woman whore."

"Woman whore? Why, why, why am I a woman whore?"

"I've seen you with the fun bag twins remember?" Oh how cute, now a different nickname for them. I glared at her.

"Saw me what? You saw me introduce them to some network executives? They wanna be actresses baby. I mean who am I to kill their dreams?" I tried to defend myself.

"Mhmhmhm..." Miley laughed through sipping her drink. "Such a generous woman. Now you're telling me you've never slept with them." She simply stated.

"Uh, well no I didn't say that."

"Ah well that's my point. Men or man whore's, prefer women in slutty clothes who suck lot's of cock." She smirked.

"Every man want's that...And for your information, I only slept with the one who could read. Wait a minute, did you just say...cock?" I was caught off guard that Miley of all people would say that word.

She was proud and smiled. "Yes, yes I did. I can say cock. You know the word; cock, cock, cock, cock."

"Ok, ok I got it. A week ago you were crying at the thought of a vibrator. And now you're cock this, cock that, cock, cock, cock...you slept with Collin didn't you?" With all that talk of hers, it seemed so.

"No! No, we didn't. We're saving that for this weekend. He's taking me to Lake Tahoe."

I sat back in my chair, my fake smile faded. "Wow, ha wow...wow." I was simply at a loss for words. I was better then I thought and helped her get this guy, just like I told her I would. Now she was about to get laid in a few days. Jealousy overwhelmed me once again, but I toned it down as much as I could and made a toast. I composed my self, found words and then raised my glass. "Here's to over turning assumptions huh?" I said as Miley picked up her glass. "I'm really a woman of discriminating taste and you're a foul mouth slut."

She just smiled. "Thank you." She told me. Then we put our cups together in a toast.

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Miley's POV-

I watched Lilly's show intensely this time. Studying her carefully. I don't know why, but there was just something about her that made me want to keep watching it.

"So, there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy, or assume she's approved. There are many layers in between and it's your job gentleman, to peel back those layers and think about exactly what type of woman you're dealing with." That was different and Joy agreed out loud.

"That sounded almost enlightened." Joy said to me.

"Because once you do peel back those layers my friends..." Lilly started smirking. "...her lady garden awaits."

"And she's back." Joy said sarcastically, smiling.

"And I'm pretty sure you're gonna wanna fertilize, that patch of petunias." Lilly said pointing and smiling at the camera.

Then Lary thanked Lilly for finishing her part of the show and said what's coming up next with the weather.

Right after Lilly was off the camera, suddenly, some guy I had never met before, came walking up to Lilly, just before she came over to me. I was a good distance away from the two, but still in earshot. So I watched their exchange of conversation.

"Hey, what's up?" She greeted him.

He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're not gonna believe this..."

"What?"

"I got you on the Late Late Show, with Craig Ferguson! They want you as his guest!" The guy said, over excited.

"Craig Ferguson wants me on his show?" Lilly was in awe.

"Yes!" The guy laughed.

"You're shitting me?" Lilly smiled.

"I am not shitting you." He said.

Lilly laughed along with the guy and they hugged. Of course it was something to be happy about, but not when I didn't know about it. I walked up to them and broke it up.

"Hi, who are you?" I asked the other guy, oddly shorter then Lilly.

"Oh this is Rick." Lilly answered for him.

"I'm his agent." He smiled proudly.

I was a bit pissed. Rick seemed rather annoying. "Since when do you have an agent? And since when is it ok to book Late Night, without the producers approval?" I smiled at him with annoyance.

"Actually it's 'Late Late', that's two late's. And since she became the hottest personality on morning TV! Have you seen this girls ratings?" Rick was way over hyperactive. And kept a hand on Lilly's shoulder. Lilly just smiled through the whole talk. Finally she was happy. Smiling at the fact of being a guest star though.

"Yes, yes I have." I told him. He settled for that and then turned his attention back to Lilly.

"Anyways it's all set, get ready to leave tonight." Rick smiled and then walked away.

"Haha, cool!" Lilly said and followed after him.

Not only but a few minutes later, John wanted to see me in his office. I already knew what this was going to be about.

I walked in. "Joy said you wanted to see me?"

"I just found out that Lilly's being offered a job, at a CBS affiliate in San Francisco, at twice the pay. Craig Ferguson is her audition." John spoke seriously.

I was caught off guard. "You can't be serious."

"Oh I'm serious. Now if Bob and Harold find out about this, we're dead. Now I need you to fly out there and talk her out of it."

What? No way! He can't cancel my plans. "I'm goin to Lake Tahoe this weekend." I told him.

"Just don't let her know that you know before hand. Just let her do the show, get us our publicity and then convince her that she needs to sign on with us for the next three years. It's all we can do." John smiled at me, completely ignoring what I said, that I had already planned.

The next thing I new, I was on a cab, heading straight for the hotel that Lilly was at. The plane ride just flashed before my eyes because I could hardly think and had my mind on what to say to Lilly. I had hardly thought of anything at all, because I was still thinking about what to say in the cab. Then as it pulled up to the really tall hotel, a man opened the door for me and my bags were being taken out of the trunk by the bellhop. I hardly noticed though, because by now I was thinking out loud and rather angry.

"Hello, little stupid, penis face. We would still be on cable access for one more day. We hear you wanna move to CBS..." I trailed of and snapped out of what I was saying as I looked at my surroundings once I got out of the car.

"Is everything ok miss?" The man who opened the door, asked me. I had a few other on lookers as well. I turned to him and thought of a quick recovery.

"Yes I'm just...I'm practicing my speech." I gave him a fake smile and then walked into the hotel, with a notebook and papers in one hand and a bigger purse of mine in the other.

As big as the lobby was, Lilly just had to see me right when I walked in. Could my day get any worse? "Miley? What are you doin here? I thought you were goin to Tahoe?" Lilly walked up to me, with a confused look on her face. Then she suddenly smirked. I knew what that one was, she was about to make a crack about something. "Ah, couldn't stand a day without me could ya?" She smiled.

"Ah yes, I just can't get enough of your sparkling wit and charm." I told her, sarcastically. "John thought you needed a producer, more then I needed to get laid. So come on, I've got to check in and we leave in five minutes." I spoke seriously, pushing my big purse in her arms and then started walking to the front desk. I caught a small whisper from her, something like, "Wow." I looked back at Lilly, who was just looking at me. Yeah, it was definitely her who said something, but I kept moving. "Five minutes! Tick-tock, tick-tock!" I said louder, looking back, as I walked faster and she kept her pace.

"Yes dear." Lilly said loudly after me, as she followed me to the front desk. Oh god I can't believe she just said that. It sounded kind of hot and I'm sure that's why she said it too. It was slightly embarrassing and I admit, a mutual feeling too, but I had to ignore her because of the hurry we were in.

Lilly's POV-

Soon enough, we were on our way to the studio. We got to take a nice rental car, with a private driver. We both sat in the back seat, then Miley spoke up.

"Ok, so let's go over the pre-interview questions." Miley started out.

I passed this off as boring for now and decided to joke with her. "I'm sorry you didn't get to spend time with little Collin this weekend." I whispered, moving closer to her and slowly faking sympathy. "And by little I don't mean undersized. Although...I highly suspect that's the case."

"Collins penis. That's what you wanna talk about right now?" I smirked with joy. Yes, I got a reaction out of her. "Cause I thought, maybe we should talk about what you're gonna say on the show..." She looked at me, and I gave her a side glance. I knew she could tell I would be bored with this part, but she didn't care. Although at least I had my fun. "...Yeah, ok. So tell me Lilly, how did The Ugly Truth start?" Miley asked, putting on a fake Irish accent. Craig Ferguson's Irish accent.

"Uh, well Mr. Irish, Craig Ferguson. I had a sales job, where I was driving around a lot, listening to talk radio. I started calling in and then I realized, I'm smarter then everybody else. Just ask my producer, Miley." I pointed at her and smiled. "She thinks I'm a genius, on days when she's not sexually frustrated." I smirked, happy to turn this back on her.

"Ah yes, thousands of lives have been enriched by your wisdom." Miley casually stated sarcastically. Apparently noticing that I was changing the subject.

"Excuse me lady, but you have a boyfriend right now because of me."

"Hey it may have started because of you, but its lasted because of me." She tried to defend. Ha, I was still getting a rise out of her now. I love my job.

"Great, so you're acting like your normal, control freak, psycho self again." I sighed.

"I am not a control freak." Miley said in such a strict tone. Which in itself, proved my point exactly. But of course she couldn't tell by that alone. I needed to give her an example.

"When you checked into the hotel, did you or did you not, insist on getting an eastern facing room, on a floor not below seven." Miley's eyes had gotten wider and wider at how much I knew about her.

"...Uh...I...I like rising with the sun...and a view." She stuttered, annoyed by the fact that I was right on.

I clapped my hands and had a huge smile. "Ahahaha! My point is, that Collin likes the Lilly version of Miley, not the Miley version of Miley. So don't go knocking my words of wisdom, when you're living proof that they work." I was happy, but she just simply glared at me and at that fact.

"I could be having sex right now." Miley spoke in a lower voice and clenched her jaw. Ha! I finally proved it to her. I was right. That the wisdom I have, works.

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**A/N: And there it is! Enough quick reviews and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Sooner then last time of course...**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Yeah I know I took awhile again, but I've been busy and writing other stuff too. But I think this chapter will make up for the wait. It's not too long, but pretty good. ****I'm pretty sure it will, considering the dance is just so hot and they get even more emotionally close. ****Oh and the song is just clips because it's in the clips of when they danced. It's **_**El Gitano Del Amor by Latin Soul Syndicate.** _**So enjoy...

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Lilly's POV-

Just a few minutes later, we were walking backstage to the opening of the show. I was as nervous as hell. I had no idea what to say since this was my first guest appearance on a live show. I think only Miley could tell how nervous I was, she was walking in front of me and Rick, but it was a live TV show, so I'm sure she put the pieces together. I just stared straight ahead, thinking about what to say on the show. Then we came to the hall way to where the open door was, for the show. It sounded like Craig was talking about random things. The door was at the end of the hall, but I stopped in the middle. Scared and nervous about what to say and do. I hadn't felt this way since I was a kid.

Rick spoke as he was squished up by my side. "Dude this is awesome. You are about to go on National television." He smiled.

"Yeah, this isn't helping Rick." Could I have picked a worse agent? Although I didn't have much time, so I had no choice. He was nice at first, but not the best at the advice.

"Just, do what you always do." He said. Well that was so not useful.

"What do I always do?"

"You uh, I don't know. You..." Rick stuttered at a loss for words. Yep, definitely not one for advice. Then as I was walking up to the doorway and ready to make my appearance, as I was on in about a half a minute, Miley stopped me, faced me and grabbed my lower shoulders.

"You entertain millions of people with your moronic idea's and they love you for it." Miley told me, quietly and quickly.

I gave her a confused look. "I think that may be the nicest thing you ever said to me."

"You're welcome." She smiled back at me. I was still confused.

Then I heard Craig announce me next and so I smiled and walked out. The whole audience was cheering and clapping for me. I couldn't believe it. Then I sat on a little leather couch that was next to his desk. Then he sat up on it and started talking.

Craig started talking to me, as Irish as he was. "Alright Lilly, welcome. We men, I think I can say we men, not nesacarillay _wee_ men, but men of all sizes." I just nodded and smiled at the lame joke. I couldn't believe people kept laughing at his lame and sarcastic jokes. I was just happy to be there for the publicity. "We're not exactly known for our expertise in, in matters of the heart." I glanced to my side, Miley was still right there, watching me from backstage. For some reason it was comforting to know. Then I looked back at the audience after those brief seconds, as Craig went on, "I hear you have some interesting ideas and theories. What, what advice would you give to the good people out there that are uh, that are looking for love?" Wow, he finally stopped to let me talk. I guess now it was my time to joke. A hell of a lot better though.

"My advice would be uh, don't do it!"

Miley's POV-

I silently chuckled. I have to admit, she was good. Nervous at first, but real good now as she began to think and joke better. I kept watching her from backstage.

"I mean try to find _lust _instead. It's a lot easier and a lot less messy. Blue balls, they only last a few hours, but a broken heart, that can last years." She shouted as the audience laughed. Then I walked just around the corned and looked up on the wall at a flat screen they had running to show how it was being shown live and from the different camera angles.

"Goodness me, tell me then, the one that screwed you up? They must have been a Duse."

Then the camera zoomed in on her face. And there was that look again with no fake smile, I looked over to the open door for those several seconds of silence. But then she suddenly thought of something to say. "Ah...well like I said, better a flusie, then a Duse." Then everyone laughed and she plastered on a laugh along with them.

Later that night, there was a small party in one of the hotels ballrooms. It was sort of a Mexican theme. I was sitting in a small booth, a few steps up from the dance floor and on the phone with John. He was anxious if I got her back on our show yet. But I suddenly saw Lilly walking toward me and I told him I was working on it and had to go.

"Where's Rick?" I asked as Lilly sat across from me.

"I sent him home. I thought maybe you and I could celebrate on our own. Here, give me some of that."

Lilly said, suddenly taking my drink as I was just finishing a sip. Wow, she really needs to get knocked up tonight. "And uh, what exactly are we celebrating?" I asked in a serious tone. I was afraid to ask, hoping she wouldn't mention CBS.

"Uh hello, Craig Ferguson. I was just on it...maybe you saw it."

"I heard about the offer, from CBS." I decided to finally tell her.

"Well then maybe you heard I turned it down."

Now that I was not expecting and you could completely see it in my features and hear the shock in my voice. "You did?" Lilly simply nodded. I blushed, then looked down at my drink. "Why?" Then I looked back up and into her eyes.

"Jonah. You know he needs me around. I may not be the best...I guess you could say 'father' figure out there. But I'm the only one he's got. And I wouldn't all the way from San Francisco."

"Well, I think that's a very good decision." I agreed with her.

"Thank you. Now can we stop talkin about work and maybe...relax? Drink? Enjoy?" I smiled and nodded in agreement as I had another sip of my drink.

I hesitated, but just had to know. "Tell me about the Duse. You know, the one who broke your heart?"

Lilly leaned back in the booth seat and rolled her eyes. "You are just totally trying to kill my buzz."

"No I'm not. I'm just interested in what makes you, you." I slightly smiled as I looked into her eyes. She looked back with a bit of hesitation. It seemed as though she was about to tell me now.

She looked down at the table for a few seconds and then looked back up, with that same look yet again. Just a blank look this time, not as much of a frown. "Well for your information, it was uh, it was more then just one." She told me sadly. "It was more like...a parade. Co dependent people, unfaithful people," Lilly started listing off the different types of people she had been with. Then leaned forward on the table, really getting into it to stress her point. "...depressed people, narcissistic people, phony people, and people who had turned out, that didn't actually like me." I just sipped my drink a few times, while looking at her and listening intently. "By the time I turned 20, I realized you can only have so many lousy relationships, before you figure out that there's no such thing as a good one." She ended with some sadness in her eyes.

"Oh come on, you can't really believe there's no such thing as a good relationship?"

"Hm, to my very core." Oh man, I had to answer something positive to this one. But wouldn't you figure, we got interrupted. I don't think there was any worse timing that a waitress could have shown up other then this time.

"Hello, can I get you something?" She asked politely.

"Yeah, I'll have on of those please." Lilly told her, pointing at my drink. Obviously she loved that.

"Sure, ok would you like anything else?"

"Uh yeah, some water." I told her and she wrote it down then walked off. I looked over at Lilly, who was looking at the dance floor, then sighed.

"Come on, let's dance." She said, then got up. I just gave her a look as in, no way. "No I'm serious. I see your spazy dance, now I wanna see the real thing." Lilly said, grabbing my hand.

"No really, I can't dance like that." I told her, pointing to the people on the dance floor doing all different kinds of dances.

"Well I can...kind of." She said as she kept pulling me out into the crowd. I smiled at her comment, but was still annoyed at what she was making me do.

"Oh Lilly, no, no." I said with a smile as she took off her jacket and tossed it back on her seat, then we walked into the middle of the dance floor as a new song started to play.

She suddenly pushed me away while still grabbing onto my hand. I went with it and surprised myself by spinning out and then back into her and her arm, that was wrapped around me. Then our faces were up close as we started doing steps with our feet. It was only for a few seconds until Lilly twirled me around, our hands over my head. Then I spun back in and grabbed onto her shoulders as we stepped to the music again.

_The way you walk, the way you talk  
The way you smile sets me off  
The way you move, the way you groove  
Makes me glad that I'm with you_

She spun me out and back into both her arms, this time my back was against her, but it felt great for some reason. I felt a huge smile on my face and glanced up to see one on hers as well. We moved our bodies together with the beat.

_The way you walk, the way you talk  
The way you smile sets me off  
The way you move, the way you groove  
Makes me glad that I'm with you_

I spun around again and then back into her. Now a hand in each others, my other one resting on her shoulder and hers, slowly moving around my back. Our eyes locked into each others and smiles locked themselves in place. We spun around in that amazing position for several seconds, let go to and grabbed each others hands to spring back, full arms length, then go back in the close position again. But just before that, Lilly put her hand on my back and had me do a small dip. Then we laughed a little at how quick and smooth that went. Then as we moved with the beat, we intertwined our arms together and raised them straight up. Lilly suddenly moved hers down and let her hands feel down the curves of my body. I slowly let my arms down, as they became weak at her touch and I suppressed a moan. What am I thinking? She looked back into my eyes, then I spun around again as we both smiled.

_The way you walk, the way you talk  
The way you smile sets me off  
The way you move, the way you groove  
Makes me glad that I'm with you _

Now it was mostly just spinning in and out of Lilly's arm. I did it several times and with her other hand, she'd push me away. Although each time, her hand got lower and lower until she grabbed my ass a few times. Hot damn!

_The way you walk, the way you talk  
The way you smile sets me off  
The way you move, the way you groove  
Makes me glad that I'm with you _

Then I spun into her arms once more and this time it was our faces that got way close, our noses were touching and I was surprisingly tempted to keep moving forward, I know Lilly was too. But our eyes were still open and I could see the hesitation in hers and I knew she could see the fear in mine. Was it just me or was it getting hot in here? I decided to speak up now, as my control freak self always has something to say. Lilly was right, I am. But this was important to note.

"We have...an early flight tomorrow, we should go." I told her loudly, over the music a little.

Lilly simply stepped back a step, looked at me and nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we should go." She spoke quieter then me although I could hear her. Then she walked away.

We gathered our things and met at the elevator. Then got in and Lilly pressed the buttons for our floors.

"So the car is gonna pick us up downstairs tomorrow at eight. Do you want me to call you?" I started to tell her. Trying to get my mind off of what almost happened.

"No I'll get a wake up call." She smiled.

"Oh yeah, good idea."

"Yeah." We both chuckled.

"Mhm, I had a really good time tonight." I said softly.

"Me too." Lilly replied.

Then the doors opened for Lilly's floor.

"That's my floor. See you tomorrow." She said, putting on a fake smile.

"Yeah, eight o'clock." I said with a smile.

"Eight o'clock." Lilly chuckled.

"Goodnight." I told her as we gave each other a hug.

"Goodnight." She replied softly back. Then the doors started closing. "Oh," She said and then moved forward to stop the door with her arm. Then looked back at me again. I was fidgeting with my hair a little and then my little purse. "Goodnight."

I looked up. "Yeah, goodnight." I replied and we gave each other another hug as she was pinned up on the side, where the doors opened and closed. What the hell was with these hugs? Was it the dance that made us miss each other or something? "It was a lot of fun."

"Yeah." Lilly agreed. Then nothing could have prepared me for what was next. Lilly moved right up to me, but I did too. I don't even remember doing it and I don't know who moved first, but once we did, a second later our lips met in an amazing kiss.

I grabbed Lilly around the waist and moved my hands up, as she ran her hands through my hair. The elevator doors tried closing again. I realized we were still in between the floor and the elevator. We just pushed it back open for the third time and kept kissing. Then suddenly an alarm went off and we broke apart. I'm guessing the alarm was because the doors weren't closing.

We were both completely out of breath and then I stepped back into the elevator. "I uh, I guess I should...I should go then. Goodnight." Lilly told me, out of breath. I simply smiled and nodded, cause I was still in shock as to what just happened and as she left, she let the doors close.

I walked into my room and shut the door behind me, sat on the couch and took my sandals off. "What the hell was that?" I said slowly to myself, dazed and still trying to process what just happened. "...and why do I wanna do it again?" I kept thinking out loud. Then I suddenly heard a few knocks on the door. Oh please be Lilly, please. I just want to know what happened. I thought. Then I hopped up from my couch, fixed my hair real quick and then opened the door and my mouth went wide open.

"Miss me?"

"Collin?!" Oh my god, no not now.

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**A/N: And there it is! Hope it's a good cliffhanger. Well for those who haven't seen the movie that is, lol. Oh and a heads up, there's just gonna be one or two chapters left. Next one could be the end, not quite sure yet, but you'll find out. Review please and that would make me very happy, especially since it's the holiday's, so thanks...**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Ok, this makes the last chapter now, I hope it's long enough and I hope you all enjoy. Happy Holiday's btw, have fun...

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Miley's POV-

"What, you were expecting someone else?" He asked and then gave me a quick kiss.

"No." I said quickly and then let him in. He was carrying a bottle of champagne. "Uh, wha..."

"Since you couldn't come to Lake Tahoe, I decided to come to you."

"How did you know I was here?" I asked suspiciously and at the same time, wanting him to get out in this awkward feeling situation.

"Oh, Joy told me." Damn it Joy. I've loved everything else about you for being my assistant, but this is the completely wrong timing. "I just started thinking about all the stuff we were going to do there and I uh..." He sat on the couch and pat it for me to sit next to him. I did and with a fake smile. "...decided I couldn't wait. "A little champagne?"

"Yeah." I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Great..." Collin started to open it. "I'm so happy to be here." He said as he was looking down at the bottle he was opening. Then my smile went away for a second, but he suddenly looked up right then. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you just surprised me." I smiled again.

"You told me you were spontaneous." He happily said.

"Yes, I did." Lilly was right, he likes the Lilly version of me, cause spontaneous is not one thing that I am.

"I have a little something else on it's way up for you. You are going to love it." Collin added, still opening the champagne. Then there was a loud pop and it started squirting everywhere. It got all over his shirt. I jumped off the couch and out of the way. "It comes out so fast right?" We both laughed. "Oh wow um, I guess we're gonna have to get naked sooner then I thought." He looked at me.

"I'll get you a towel!" I ran out of that room and into the bathroom for a towel. Lilly was right, even though Collin seemed so nice and I thought he was above it all. I guess in the end...he's still a guy. I ran out of the room just as he was taking his wet shirt off. Oh shit! I mentally slapped myself big time and missed Lilly so much right now, but I was rather stuck. I couldn't just call her for help, cause she would get the wrong impression if she were to see him here like this. Even if I tried to explain that he really did surprise me, she wouldn't want to believe it and just walk away.

Lilly's POV-

I didn't realize where I was going until I would stop, turn around, and then start walking again, thinking straight and focus on what I was going to try and say to Miley. I was walking down the hallway of the room she was staying in and talking to myself. "Miley I-I...uh...Miley I really really wanna do that again and not just tonight..." I stumbled over my words so much, what was wrong with me? "Fuck it! Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Head up Truscott, come on you can do this." I said confidently, as I reached her door and knocked a few times. When the door opened, I was shocked and wanted to strangle what I saw standing in front of me.

"Hey! Hey, you're not room service." Could he be anymore of an idiot? "How you doin?" He shaked my hand. He wasn't wearing a shirt and holding a towel. Yeah, real presentable for room service too Collin.

"Hey uh, hey I just came by to tell Miley about the change in our flight time, but I could come by later." I totally sounded choked up and I knew it, but I wasn't gonna let a tear drop. Especially in front of an idiot like him. Then suddenly Miley appeared beside him.

"Hi." It was as simple as that.

"Hey." I smiled back at her even though she didn't.

"What are you doing here?"

"Uh, flights changed, 8 o'clock, morning." I stumbled a bit more, but glad I could come up with something to say in code, as Collin was still standing right in the doorway and didn't know the flight was the same. "I-I told you that already...I'm sorry, long day, big day. I'll just leave now." I said, still holding back tears from the sudden shock, and walked away, leaving a confused look on Miley's face.

I heard the door close and then open again. "Lilly, Lilly. Hey wait." I turned around as Miley came jogging after me. "He came to surprise me, I-"

"Yeah how convenient."

"No I, I thought it was you at the door." She said quietly.

"Well I guess we're all interchangeable." I smiled, still hurt though. I hadn't felt this way in a long time. I went on out of hurt, "I taught you well. Hey, maybe you can even host the show." I smiled as she was still confused.

She walked up closer to me. "Tell me what happened in the elevator. Should I tell Collin to go?"

"No...no why pull up anchor now? And you worked that hard to get him here." I hurt saying this and I could see some sadness in Miley's eyes now.

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" She really wondered.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked softly.

"The truth is ugly isn't it?" She replied softly as well.

I chuckled. "That's what I've been tryin to tell you." I smiled and so did she. "I'll see ya." Then with that last word I turned around and walked away. I could still feel Miley's presence behind me, watching me walk away and down the hall.

Miley's POV-

As Lilly was about to turn the corner, I turned around and walked back to my room, simply frowning and disappointed in myself the whole time. Then I walked back into my room to see Collin sitting on the edge of my bed, with his shirt on now and two cups ready with champagne, sitting on a table at the foot of the bed. "Sorry about that." I told him.

"No, honestly no worries. Uh come here," He said, pointing to the glasses. "Listen the rest of the night is ours." He handed me a glass. "To the first of many romantic evenings to come." He smiled and then we made a toast. He took a sip and I just felt like chugging the whole glass down, so I did. "Whoa uh, ok."

"Hm, yeah...Collin, why do you like me?" Even though I knew the answer, I still wanted to make sure it was true.

"Oh, well uh, you're beautiful, you're smart. You never criticize. You know what, you never try to control the situation. And I-I've gotta say, it's a breath of fresh air, because I know so many women who are total control freaks, it's a nightmare. I just love that you're not like that."

I fakely chuckled along with his smiling and then burst his bubble. "But I am, I am just like that."

"Wait what do you mean?" He was confused.

I stepped away from the bed, with the bottle of champagne in one hand and my glass in the other. "Well, this should be chilled," I held the bottle up for example. "Let you know that. And as horrible as it sounds, I was editing that speech the entire time you were giving it." I turned around, thinking about what more I could say to him. Then I went off again. "And the time you fed me caviare, I was in physical pain. I hate being fed like a toddler. That's how much of a control freak I am. But I couldn't show you any of that because who would love someone like that? No one." I drank a little more.

"Um..." Collin couldn't seem to say anything, so I continued.

"I'm so sorry, you are a great guy, you really are." Once I said that, I second thought about it. Mostly a great guy to clueless women who want to get laid. I was too, however Lilly opened my eyes to learn more. "Which is why I have to tell you that I have not been myself, not for one second of the time that we've been dating." As I spoke to him, I was looking sad the whole time, because I felt sad and mostly because I was thinking of how much this scene must have hurt Lilly. But in a way I was also glad to be breaking up, because I didn't want to be leading him on.

"Then who have you been?" He asked.

"A girl some idiot told me to be..." I told him, then unclasped my hair extensions and ruffled out my shoulder length hair. Collin still looked confused, but also looked as though he was putting it together.

Then that was it and next thing I knew, it was morning and I was on the flight back.

Once back in the news station, I saw John and noticed he was looking around for me, I walked up to him. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything, she missed the flight all on her own." I rolled my eyes and put a hand on my hip.

"She quit this morning. Just got a smug call from a local CBS affiliate, saying they closed the deal with her. Cope-rate's having a shit fit! What the hell happened?!"

Ok, this blew my mind. "She quit to go to one of our local competitors?" I paused for a few seconds to think this through, "We don't need Lilly Truscott. Half wit's are a dime a dozen." I said as I walked away.

"Well you better be right. Cause you gotta find me another one by the end of the week or else we're canceled!"

"I'll find one by the end of the day!" I said with anger, before leaving the full room.

"Not really, that's just a joke everybody." I partly heard John say, making up for what he yelled out.

I walked down the hall and with Joy next to me. "I can't believe I allowed myself to feel anything for her." I said, annoyed and saddened.

"Well you allowed enough something to break up with Collin." Joy said, so not helping. I turned to face her. "I'm sorry." Then when we were in a room with about 8-10 people. "Ok here are the Lilly Truscott replacements. I quickly skimmed the room.

I pointed as I called them, "Yes, no, yes, no, no, fuck no!" Then I left the room.

Joy followed me with her clipboard. "Fuck no, alright." She mumbled.

The next day was the balloon festival and I was happy I got one guy as a quick replacement. He sort of had an attitude issue, but I tried to get past that. It was real early in the morning and we had him stand in one of the small, two person, hot air balloon baskets. We also weren't the only TV station there though. There were several others that were covering this festival, our station was very popular though, so hopefully it would still get many more viewers.

"How's my face? Is it too shiny?" Joy simply nodded her head no. While I was back behind him and making sure the balloon and everything looked right. "Which side is better? Right, left, full frontal?" He asked. I was really exhausted and annoyed.

"They're all great. Can we go over your intro one more time?" I said from the side of the balloon and then walked over to the camera and watched him. I started out for him, "I'm Oliver Oken and this is..."

"The Ugly Truth." He said into the mic, with a big grin and in a cocky voice, looking straight at the camera. Then at the same time, pointed a finger at the camera like a gun, pulled it back to his face and blew the top of his finger off.

"Ok, let's uh maybe lose the gun thing." I said, annoyed at that gesture.

"What? Guns my signature move." Oliver said and leaned on the edge of the basket.

"Unless the NRA is paying your mortgage this month, I say lose the F-ing gun!" I smiled.

Joy started a count down. "Aright, we're live in 5...4...3..." Then she pointed to Oliver at 2 and 1.

"I'm Oliver Oken and this is, The Ugly Truth." He said, pretty well and straight into the camera. Oh shit, he started moving his hand up, obviously a reflex. But he turned it differently and said, "Peace." He smiled.

Normal POV-

In the meantime, there was another van across the field. Lilly Truscott was getting ready to go live in a few minutes. In their van were some TV screens and one of them had her old station on it. Her new producer pointed it out. "Hey check it out, your replacement's on." He told her, pointing at the TV.

"My what?" She said, reading a newspaper while a lady was doing her makeup.

"Your replacement." He repeated and then Lilly looked now.

"Most of you are watching this show so you can learn how to get chicks." Oliver said. Lilly was intrigued and listened carefully now. "Well, let me assure you, you're in good hands. You're looking at a guy, who personally has had sex, with over 137 women! Most of them conscious." He smiled cockily. Behind the camera, Miley and Joy's jaws dropped in shock. Apparently Miley picked the wrong one.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh this is beautiful." Lilly laughed, waiting to hear more from the guy.

He continued, "Now we're here at the balloon festival and I'm supposed to be telling you about how men are full of hot air." He said with a bored tone as he rolled his eyes. Then suddenly switched gears. "But I think we all know it's the ladies, that are full of crap!"

Miley's eye's widened and her head went back slightly. Caught off guard by that, she was pissed at him now. "Just because she says no, doesn't mean she means no." Oliver smiled. "If that were the case, I'd have only 90 women-"

Oliver was cut off suddenly, by Miley pulling him out of the balloon basket from the back of his shirt, then she stood in his place. They went off the air for a second until Miley could completely stand up right. In those few seconds, the camera went straight back to the studio with Georgia and Larry. "Oh, welcome back, it looks like we're experiencing some technical difficulty." She said with a smile. Then Miley was in there with the mic up and ready to go.

"Hi, I'm sorry, but Oliver Oken will no longer be able to do The Ugly Truth," Once Miley appeared on screen, this really captured Lilly's attention now. "Which should really come as no surprise, because people are completely un reliable." Miley said with a chuckle. "Take Lilly Truscott for instance. She up and quit the show, without so much as a word. Lilly looked as though she was annoyed by that, although happy that she saw Miley on the screen. "You think you know what someone's gonna do, you think you know what they want to do. But when it comes right down to that moment when they need to step up and I don't know, make a move, they chicken out."

That did it for Lilly and she jumped out of her chair. "Oh I am all over this!" She said, a glare filled her eyes and her nose crinkled. Mostly talking to herself but a few of her other co workers were around her.

"Well where are you goin? We're live in two!" Lilly's producer shouted after her. She ignored him and started running for the balloon, that the station was on.

Miley continued talking as Lilly continued running. "The big strong men, that we've all been reading about in novels and watching in movies since we were nine years old, that's a falsie, they don't exist. Men are not strong. Men are not brave. Men are afraid. Even if someone has a moment...in a hotel elevator and it's totally romantic and full of potential, they are incapable of coping to it." Miley said, slightly chocked up, which the camera clearly could catch. "Because, why? They are weak."

"Let me tell you something...about women." Lilly finally got there and got in the balloon with Miley. Then took the mic from her. "Women would have us believe that they are the victims, that we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want true love, but all they want, is a check list." Lilly stared straight at the camera, while Miley still stood right next to her and rolled her eyes. "Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor?" Lilly listed a few things for an example. She just frowned at this situation. "And for you men who fit the criteria, don't kid yourselves. They're not sleeping with you, they're sleeping with a carefully calculated set, of fenal choices." Miley just folded her arms and looked at Lilly, annoyed. "Money over substance. Looks over soul. Polish over principals. No gesture, no matter how real or romantic, will ever compensate for a really impressive list of credentials." She ended, then Miley decided to get a word in.

"The elevator was a moment of passion, followed by a moment of panic on your part apparently." Miley raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

"Panic? I came by your room."

"Yes, and then you ran away." Miley shot back.

"That wasn't panic sweet heart, that was an unwillingness to compete with the walking checklist that was in your bed! You should be thanking me."

"Uh, we got 10 seconds!" Joy suddenly said to them, standing behind the camera.

Then suddenly the man who worked the hot air balloon jumped inside the basket. "Ready to soar up, up and away?" He said, a little too excited.

Just before we took off, Lilly said one last thing. "Well there you have it folks, that's The Ugly Truth. A girl in need for two guys, will always choose the one with the better resume." She smiled smugly.

"That is bullshit!" Miley said, just as the balloon went on, then Joy said we're out.

"God, I hate you so much, I just swore on live television." Miley told, Lilly.

"No, you hate yourself for being so shallow." She shot back at Miley.

"Up we go," The other guy in the balloon said, they both completely forgot he was there.

"Where are we going?" Miley asked quickly.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Lilly said loudly and looked over the edge, almost putting a leg over the side, but then saw that they were already to high for her to jump out.

"Oh that's a shocker, you're bailing!" Miley shouted, as she noticed Lilly wanted to leave in a hurry.

Then they both stood next to each other on the one side, that was where the passengers usually stood. On the other side of course, was where the other guy worked the balloon. Also, little did they know, there was a camera on board the balloon and pointed directly at Miley and Lilly.

Joy said into her headset. "Keep rolling on the on board camera."

As Lilly stood back up straight, Miley slapped her on the shoulder. "What are you...? Oh god, what is wrong with you?!" Then they both looked down and grabbed on to one of the polls in the basket. As well as scooting into the corner and away from each other as much as they could. But, as it was only a two person hot air balloon, plus the other guy, they didn't have much room to scoot away and were still both visible in the view of the camera.

John had been watching all this, back at the studio and once this showed up, he was frustrated even more. "They don't even know they're on the air do they?" Some people said no. "Is there any way to tell them, they're on the air?"

"Nope." Some one else said.

"Oh they're gonna curse. I know it." He said, out of breath.

For a minute, the two looked around at all the scenery around them and the other balloons. It was a beautiful sight. Then the balloon guy asked them, "So who wants champagne?" He held a bottle and some glasses up in front of them. They didn't respond, so he put them down, then Lilly spoke up again.

"Oh I know, I have a great idea. Why don't we pass the time, with you telling me how much fun you and Collin had, having sex in Los Angeles." She said sarcastically.

"I broke up with Collin in Los Angeles, you Jackass!" Miley shot back.

There was a pause from Lilly then she wondered. "What?" Annoyingly in the background, the other guy was trying to tell them the scenes on their left and right.

"Oh, oh yeah that's got your interest." Miley smiled. "Well if you think we are gonna finish what we started in L.A. You are out of your mind, you lost your chance."

"Oh come on, I never had a chance with you." Lilly said a bit softly.

Was she actually breaking some walls for me? Miley thought. "Uh, I..." The guy continued talking loudly. "...Could you please stop talking? Thank you." He stopped and then Lilly handed him the mic. "You're right, I had a momentarily lapse in judgment, when I thought you were more then you are, but you aren't. Clearly."

"Oh yeah? Well what does that mean?" Lilly wondered, confused. Miley mocked her.

"I'm Lilly Truscott, I like girls in jello. I like to fuck like a monkey. Don't fall in love, it's scary."

Back at the studio John was still watching. "Oh for god sakes, there's the first one." He said, loosening his tie and sweating. Scared about more swearing to come.

"Yeah, it is scary. It's terrifying." Lilly told Miley in a serious voice. "Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you."

"I am not a psycho!" Miley yelled at her.

"Aww." Joy said as she was watching the TV.

"I just told you that I loved you and all you heard was psycho. Well you're the definition of neurotic!"

Miley went off. "No, the definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obsessive thoughts, compulsive actions and physical elliments without any-"

"Shut up!" Miley looked at Lilly, appalled by the sudden cut off in her streak of the definition. "Yet again, I just told you I'm in love with you and you're standing here, giving me a vocabulary lesson." Lilly smiled.

They broke eye contact and several seconds passed while Miley thought about what she just heard. They made eye contact again as soon as Miley spoke up. "You're in love with me...why?"

"Hm, beats the shit out of me, but I am." They stared into eachother's eyes for several seconds, then Lilly broke it and looked down with slight sadness. But at that moment, Miley took a step towards her, grabbed her face and kissed her roughly. Lilly held on to Miley's waist as she did. They made out for the rest of the flight, still not knowing about the camera, but didn't care either.

Then within the week, they finally got laid, with each other.

"Oh...oh Lilly you're amazing!"

"I am?"

"Oh you're a goddess!" Miley shouted in their room.

"Oh, oh god..." Miley was out of breath. Then Lilly rolled off the top of her and to her side of the bed, then turned on the lamp.

"Am I really that good...or are you...are you just fakin it?" Lilly asked out of breath, with a big smile.

Miley had a big smile too. She laughed. "You'll never know." Then she flipped on top of Lilly and turned the lamp back off.

* * *

**THE END**

**A/N: Well there it is, the end of the movie, thus the end of the story. Please review. And if you thought I wrote it well enough, then I'm always open to other movie ideas too. They're fun to re write in Liley style. So PM me or review about it...**


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